Lugubrious

Thomas Hoving

2010-02-10T19:36:00.003-06:00

What a pretentious prick!

Am addicted to documentaries right now, thanks to my new friend, Netflix. Just finished Who the #S&% is Jackson Pollock? Great flick.

Oh holy hell

2010-01-09T21:28:00.001-06:00

I just figured out where I live

Bless their little hearts

2010-01-09T21:03:00.003-06:00

Someone told me that here in West Texas, if you say those words, it negates anything negative that precedes it. For example, "Lubbock is the land of inbred crack babies, bless their little hearts." To me, it doesn't really work, but I'm gonna use it for the title of this post anyway.

I quit making New Years Resolutions years ago and just started naming them after body parts (The year of the boobs, the year of Don Eduardo, etc.). Anyway, the reason I don't make resolutions is because I tend to evaluate my life continually and because my resolutions tend to be the same: stop living balls out forward toward the future and embrace the present, try to enjoy the place you are living right now, etc. And today I tried. I tried to live in the present and embrace the city of Lubbock. I got dressed up and took myself out on a date. This date was planned to be dinner, a leisurely stroll through the bookstore for a few hours, and perhaps a stop to rent an artsy movie (no, I don't have netflix--though I may invest in it now). Instead, here is what happened.

I won't go into dinner but suffice it to say I ended up at a chain restaurant amidst a cacophony of people one might see in the merry old land of Oz. The food gave me heartburn, but I trudged on. Ah, the bookstore. You see, there are a few indigenous bookstores here in Lubbock but they close early and are very cramped, so browsing ends pretty quickly there. One actually has a sci fi reading room complete with action figures, which is awesome, but I digress. Anyway, tonight I went to the new Barnes and Noble. This thing is double decker, which is cool, one would think. Oh but in true Lubbock fashion, it so was not.

The place was crawling, infested with yokels and pubescent junior high kids making out in the stacks (the kids, not the yokels, thank god). It was like a roach motel for the inbred crack babies of Lubbock! But I, dear readers, pulled myself into a zenlike stupor and focused on the books. Now normally, I cannot leave a bookstore without spending around 50-75 bucks. I just can't. Call me stupid, but I can't. It's an addiction I have no desire to heal from. And time stops in a bookstore. I'm there for a min of about 3 hours. Tonight, 20 min.

The bottom floor was filled with games and calendars and a nice cafe, actually. I think the business section was there, and the music section, as well. Plus there were the multitudes of endcaps filled with bargain books and features. To my dismay, these were horrid. The bargain books were all democratic party biographies (JFK, Obama), whereas the featured book section involved rows and rows of books written by Mike Huckabee!!! I ran upstairs. They have a giant kid and teen section and half of the upstairs is taken up with a homeschooling resource center! Then the other half contains 2 shelving units of test prep, 4 shelving units of fiction and literature(of which Stephen King and Dean Koontz are a part), one shelf of "Spirituality" which is anything non-Christian, and the rest Christian literature.

It was insane. 4 bookshelves of fiction and literature??? I thought I was seeing things. I actually walked around again to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. This is our bookstore??? This is our fantabulous 2 story bookstore? Oh god. They've closed down all the libraries in town (except 1 which has limited hours), and this is our bookstore!?

So I left to hit Blockbuster which has everything in boxes because they are closing. They won't rent anything, so I bought Sunshine Cleaning. I hope it's good.

God help me. Bless their little hearts.

Dear Crabby

2010-01-08T10:17:00.005-06:00

I woke up this morning to 14 degree temps, and I'm ok with that for the most part. There's something in me that likes winter temps, as long as I don't have to stay out in it for long. I like the nippiness in the air as you walk to the bus, etc. But if it is going to be this cold, I would so much rather be in Chicago, and so I'm feeling a little nostalgic for the Windy City today.

This is further exacerbated by the fact that I pulled up my FB page and saw the morning pictures and loveliness from my friend who lives there. This friend is brilliant, masters in lit from NWestern, etc. She's a stay at home (home=lovely brownstone in the city) mom now, tho staying at home isn't quite the term for her. Anyway, she's one of these creative types who makes her children frocks (yes she calls them frocks), and bakes all sorts of bread, and eats green smoothies made from produce she gets from the farmer's market. Now, none of that part of her life sounds appealing to be, simply because it doesn't mesh with my personality (I am sure you are surprised). I truly admire these men and women who can their own jelly and stuff, but I just don't have the patience for it.

Nevertheless, today she posts a picture of a gorgeous coffee cup, two buttery blueberry scones, the New York Times, her kindle, and a writing journal. The title: first coffee shop visit of 2010. You see, she does this ritual nearly every day, taking pictures of coffee and blueberries, coffee and fritters, etc. And I KNOW the coffee shops she's visiting--love them! Sigh. And so I feel this mixture of happiness and intense jealousy that she is sitting at MY coffee shops with time on her hands to read a novel, write, etc.

And so I'm examining this jealousy, and I think to myself that I could get up earlier, start my run earlier, and then go sit at a coffee shop a few hours before classes. The luxury of a student is that we could do such things, and I should take advantage of it. The negatives, however, are ones I'm trying to get over (and maybe you all can help): There are only 6 coffee shops in town. One is a starbucks in the bookstore on campus, one is a starbucks in a shopping center, one is a stand alone starbucks which is doable but the seating is pretty limited, one is the crazy coffee shop (not really the environment you want for a calming morning java) and one is the hipster coffee shop that has eccentric hours (read: we don't follow the sign on our door) and gives me metaphorical hives to visit. Plus, they put their cappuccinos in espresso cups, and that just furthers my hives. Oh, and there's another shop owned by the crazy coffee shop owner, but it has wooden benches for seating, and that is a pain in the ass, literally.

My other options are the local IHOP and Dennys.

See, and so the big problem is that this is a college town, and with only 6 shops to choose from, there's not much serenity going on. Here, you either party at a bar or a coffee shop, and the atmosphere is about the same (though the coffee shops are definitely higher on the geek factor). I guess I could get up REALLY early before the students, but the other problem is that I'm a night person, and there are biorhythmic, physiological things going on that make people either morning or night people. So even if I got up early, I would still stay up til at least 2. Maybe I can change my biorhythms.

Anyway, I'm determined to have this because I've got at least another full year here, and I have to make it doable. So any suggestions for how to bring Chicago to Lubbock?

2010

2010-01-07T22:50:00.001-06:00

Silence
Serenity
Service
Serendipity
Simplicity
Singing
Solitude

Done

2009-12-14T18:17:00.003-06:00

Just turned in my last final. I don't know quite what to do with myself. I think I'll take a bath.

omgwhatifididn'tdoitrightandfailed???????????

Yes, bath. Bath is good.

Pleather Virgin

2009-12-10T21:17:00.003-06:00

Went shopping today. This makes 4 days in a row, and I make it a rule never to shop at the holidays, but I've just needed something to do to blow off some steam other than running. I've had two major projects each week for 5 weeks. It's insane.

And I'm having some sort of a false pre-midlife crisis because I'm trying on things just for fun that I would never wear in a million years. Tonight's adventure was a pair of pleather plants. First of all, I had the damnedest time getting these things over my calves! I guess strung out hair bands and cougars don't have runners' calves. Anyway, once I got them over the calf area, they stuck on like superglue, and I have never felt so uncomfortable emotionally in my life. Seriously, I looked like someone from Stryper. It was disturbing. I thought I'd laugh at myself, but I was just horrified. Pleather pants are just WRONG! How do people strut around in these things without feeling like an ass? Lycra, maybe. ;) I bought 3 pair of pants like that and the shoes to go with them! All on sale! No pleather, though.

I also scored 4 cute dresses for 2 bucks each (love out of season clearances). And I bought a corset top and plaid micromini for 75% off with lace leggings and pearl accessories. LOL. I've either lost my mind or am excited the 80s are back in. What do they say about "if you wore it the first time around..." Screw them!

Total bill: $36. W00t!

I spy

2009-12-04T23:58:00.003-06:00

I can find at least 8 things gut bustingly funny about this picture. Thoughts?

Wow, I needed that laugh. Today's been a day filled with weirdness. I have been waiting on a reimbursement from the school for travel expenses for a conference I presented at. Charges have been on my card since August. Finally found out there's a hold on my account because I never paid a $10 transcript fee at another freakin' institution 3 years ago (the one where I had to take classes for pisd)!!! I've been on the phone with 27 different voicemail systems (no one answers their damn phones anymore) and finally talked to a woman at my current school who told me that she was unable to speak with me since I was a delinquent of the state. I never got a bill for a transcript (could've sworn I paid online), and suddenly I am a delinquent of the state? And why does a $10 financial hold at one institution preclude me from geting my money at a different institution?

Anyway, I paid the damn 10 bucks and updated my address and so hopefully I am now in the clear. Of course, no one at UH will call me back and the people here won't talk to delinquent me, so who knows. But for now, back to awkward family photos.

Now that the rant is over and I've got java

2009-12-01T11:54:00.002-06:00

Yay snow!!!!!!!!!!! [clappy, happy hands!]

I am a jaded ass

2009-12-01T11:42:00.004-06:00

There was a time when snow used to make me happy. And part of it still does. I love snow at night, when I have nowhere to be, and I can just enjoy the nearly silent sizzle of the flakes gliding through the air.

Today was not that day. After walking 2 blocks to the bus stop and realizing I forgot my hat and gloves, I waited 30 min for a bus that didn't come. Then I had to walk back, get in my car, drive to campus, park 2 miles off campus, walk to campus and was 30 minutes late for my meeting this morning.

Everyone was cheerful, jolly, sipping cocoa and singing, "Let it snow." And I--I looked like a drowned rat, my $50 digital recorder just as soaked as I was. And suddenly the merriment stopped as one person said, "Wow, you look, er, moist." Moist?

I need coffee. Damnit, and I woke up today thinking I'd be one of those cheerful, oblivious types. It's just not in the stars, people.

How could I forget?

2009-12-01T09:04:00.001-06:00

To add to my hmmmm list:

3. BUMPITS!!

Hmmm list

2009-11-30T18:46:00.003-06:00

There are a lot of things I don't particularly care for myself, but I still can understand why someone might be drawn to them (e.g., trashy romance novels, being uber-crafty, people who write NOTHING but "I am thankful for..." or "my wonderfully sweet husband..." statuses on Facebook, etc). But I have to say, I seriously cannot comprehend the overwhelming infatuation with the following things:

1. Snuggies
2. Twilight being read by ANYONE over the age of 15
3. [I will continue to add to this list as time goes by]

It's not that I'm against these things. It's just that I cannot grasp the other point of view yet. So, please, if you are Snuggalicious or a Twilightophile, enlighten me.

I gotta get me one HUGE radio!

2009-11-30T11:04:00.001-06:00

Sigh. Double the sexiness.

Disgusted

2009-11-29T16:40:00.002-06:00

You know, just when you think misogyny can't get any worse, it does. Someone I know became a fan of the LFL (lingerie football league), and I thought it was a joke. No, no it's not. Feministing says it best: "Women finally get a pro women's football league, and in order to participate, they have to wear their skivvies." Come on! Not only is it objectification at its finest, but it makes a mockery of women in sports.

I think I might vomit now.

F*ing Amateurs

2009-11-24T20:56:00.003-06:00

Perhaps I'm channeling good ole Walter (who is sitting on my desk, briefcase and bowling ball in hand--thank you, Prax), but people piss me off. I was actually pulled aside today by a concerned classmate who felt that my name was being besmirched. This is not news to me since I don't play the little reindeer games of the masses and come from a humanities background. But this one really got me. Apparently, someone in my cohort saw me across campus, waved to me, and is now mad that I did not wave back. And she has now communicated that to everyone, who have all surmised that I am a bitch.

Now if someone doesn't wave back to you, do you automatically assume that she hates you, thinks she's superior to you, is a bitch? Or do you, perhaps, think that a) she may not have seen you; b) might have tunnel vision and is focused on, oh, say, HER FUCKING SCHOOLWORK AND RESEARCH; c) may not have her glasses on at the moment...anything other than that she is snubbing your presence?

I am so tired of the juvenile behavior here. For people who study human development, they are alarmingly stuck in Erikson's first few stages. Or maybe they have a hostile attribution bias toward people. I dunno. I keep thinking back to what Doc said a few weekends ago about people hating anyone who disrupts the homeostasis, and she's pretty much right, but hell--waving? Ridiculous. It's behavior like this that makes me want to quit this PhD thing every single day. Schoolwork is a breeze, but dealing with these morons (many of the profs are just as bad) is getting on my last nerves. I just don't think I can make it.

Panacea

2009-11-21T00:19:00.002-06:00

Ah, nothing like Cusack and a mean Caucasian to heal all.

And now, to bed. Cranky abides.

Congrats

2009-11-20T19:08:00.002-06:00

This was my theme song for a year.

No more.

Enjoy your bumpit.

IT"S KIMDAY!

2009-11-06T00:19:00.000-06:00

How are you celebrating? :)

Kimday Kickoff and doc crazypants

2009-11-04T21:44:00.004-06:00

Well, the week has been pretty mundane, but I did kick it off with a little MJ. Well done. Showcases both the geniuses of MJ and Kenny Ortega. Choreography, graphics--amazing. My friend and I were singing and dancing in the back. Sadly, the place was bare, and the few people who were there sat stoically in their seats, munching popcorn like tools.

Since then, I've been working my ass off with midterms (last one due Monday) and other assignments. I present in San Fran next week, so I've got some last minute stuff to put together, and my research project finally got approved, so I've started recruitment.

Oh, Halloween was fun but again, barren. NO one was out.

And I'm still fighting off the funk, which doc crazypants says is allergies. I forgot to write about the doc crazypants saga. I went in for upper respiratory problems, and he was more concerned that I hadn't had a pap smear in 2 years, reminding me that women's bodies are like wet paint. Things, apparently, stick to us like little pieces of fuzz, lint, and dirt do to a freshly painted wall.

Ok, first of all, since when did pap smears become less about preventative medicine (read: cancer and the like) and more about cleaning out my insides from all the wild, crazy, "lint" producing sex women have? Isn't this why it is called a well woman exam? It's like that damn vaccine to protect against cervical cancer. Hello? A) why aren't men vaccinated; B) um, sometimes cervical cancer just happens! It's not all about a nasty cooch. And furthermore, I went in to have my damn ears, nose, and throat looked at! WTF? Ah well, chalk it up to all the fuckwit docs I've had through the years.

Ok back to midterming and hot tea.

Kimday approaches

2009-11-02T11:31:00.003-06:00

We have reached Kimweek, and it is time to reassess the 34 things to do before I am 35.

1. DONE: start my 7000 project
2. DONE: finish at least one scrapbook in my pile of thrown together pictures.
3. TO DO: wear one of my formal dresses somewhere prudent, as opposed to a random Monday that I term Megafabulous McDonald's Monday or something
4. To DO: sing on the street corner for money at least once
5. DONE: put a zombie apocalypse escape plan together
6. DONE: start planning an Alternative Kimday Action Plan (AKAP)
7. DONE: take my mp3 player out of its package and actually load it
8. DONE: Give up guilt over stupid things like forgotten thank you notes from 2 years ago and the like
9. DONE: Use my SWA gift certificate
10. UM...BETTER IS RELATIVE, SO DONE: become better at shunning the foods I'm allergic to
11. DONE: quit buying pints of ice cream bc I only eat about 3 bites out of the container with a fork and then neglect it until it morphs into a little crystallized Whoville. If I want ice cream, I'll just go to the scoop shop
12. DONE. I LOST IT: figure out what to do with the swarovski crystal kangaroo with the broken tail that a student gave me one year
13. DONE: pick up the wiper blades that I ordered from the dealer 3 weeks ago and just haven't picked up because I hate auto dealers
14. DONE: use my football servingware (hopefully this weekend)
15. DONE: at least think about writing again
16. DONE: read at least one book on my to read list that is not school related
17. DONE: actually use my backyard for something--a party, reading in a lawn chair, dancing naked, something!
18. DONE: go to a drive in theatre
19. TO DO: just throw away a pillow. just toss it. I have this thing that I can't get rid of pillows. I buy new ones and either store the old ones (just in case--of what I don't know) or transform them into cat beds or back rests or something. it's insane. I have a problem.
20. DONE!: avoid mowing my yard. I've done it thus far, so hopefully I can continue.
21. PROBABLY NOT GONNA GET DONE: get another stamp on my passport (I stole this one from s&s)
22. DONE: actually remember how old I am. Seriously, I have to do the math, and I keep second guessing myself when I get an answer
23. SIGNED UP!: while I don't have time to train for my 3rd marathon, I'd like to at least run a half this year
24. TO DO: watch the first season of House
25. TO DO: find some way to release my inner artist without having to spend a lot of money. Maybe I'll try out for community theatre. I'd try the lubbock ballet, but they are too snooty
26. DONE: treat myself to at least one pedicure
27. APPT FOR DECEMBER: get to the chiropractor at least once
28. TO DO: have a picnic in prairie dog town
29. DONE: celebrate groundhog's day
30. DONE: paint something. Anything.
31. DONE: have one entirely perfect witty moment--you know, like when you have the perfect comeback in utter dry nonchalance
32. TO DO: go roller skating
33. DONE: meet someone intriguing
34. DONE: do something I've always wanted to do but have never done (and at this moment, that something escapes me)

So you can see I have a few things left on my list this week. It will be tough to fit them in with midterms. We'll see. Maybe I can get the grad student extension.

Geisha moment

2009-10-31T15:42:00.002-05:00

Remember that scene in Memoirs of a Geisha when Sayuri learns how to stop a man in his tracks with a single look? I had that effect 2 times today. It was rather funny.

I'm convinced it's my Detective Beckett jacket. There's power in pleather.

Tonight I am going to look like this. Yay Halloween! Wonder if I'll still stop 'em in their tracks.

And Glinda, miss you 2

2009-10-27T21:27:00.002-05:00

Miss you, too, Rick!

2009-10-27T21:13:00.001-05:00

In case you wondered

2009-10-24T23:57:00.002-05:00

I do miss you sometimes.

Kimday musing

2009-10-21T00:10:00.002-05:00

Would it be odd to celebrate one's birthday by oneself in Vegas? For some reason, (perhaps I am becoming a hermit), this is sounding more and more appealing.

It also might be the fact that I feel as if a truck ran over me. Fighting off whatever funk is running around the LBB.

Anyway, I have to make a decision soon, but for now, off to bed.

I heart my mom

2009-10-20T11:31:00.001-05:00

Text from last night:

You have my permission to marry Castle. Love mom.

Salud

2009-09-29T22:44:00.002-05:00

I am having a glass of wine. This is probably not surprising to anyone who knows me pretty well, given that I love a good red. What is significant, however, is that I purchased this wine from the store. That's right. I bought wine from a Lubbock grocery store. Finally. Finally, we have beer and wine in the stores. I can walk out of my house and into a store and buy a bottle of wine.

This is one of the top ten glasses of wine I have ever tasted, solely because I've waited a year to buy it from the store.

Senses

2009-09-26T00:39:00.004-05:00

I should be sleeping. I've been so tired today that I can barely think in my own language, can barely formulate words in my own consciousness much less promote them to the tip of my tongue. I can't, though. I'm not sure why I can't other than the fact that I keep thinking, imagining. I close my eyes to sleep but images keep me awake. I hear music. Feel the cool breeze on my bare skin as I sleep under the stars. Taste the crisp burst of a Ranier cherry on my tongue. I watch as the stars swirl behind my eyelids. I enjoy the sight of my arms in the mirror as I go through the motions of port de bras in a warm studio with a wooden, rosin stained floor. I'm walking in The Louvre, standing atop Notre Dame, eating a croissant while reading Sartre at Café de Flore. I take in the scarlet hue of Le Coquelicot while licking a wayward drop of the latest Beaujolais Nouveau from the lips of my own Han Solo. Steal a kiss from a stranger at The Menger Bar.

I enjoy tapas and a bottle of rioja with friends. Enjoy an evening of laughter at the Davenport. Spend a day in the Bodleian Library. Sing in a bar in Italy. Stand amidst the Swiss Alps. Daydream in the Roman Forum.

And then the music stops. I am back on earth. Back in Lubbock. And I breathe in and out and accept this as my stay for now.

Case of the Mondays

2009-09-21T20:38:00.003-05:00

Today, I missed the bus, had to drive, and the back of my driver's seat broke (lays down flat). To to it off, I got stuck in an elevator. No love. No livin' it up. Just standing. And sitting. And waiting. And fantasizing about doing this to the first generation laser printer in the grad office that taunts me with its mechana dentata.

I got some reading done at least. And I got half the paperwork squared away for my conference in San Fran. Doc's gonna be there! Yay, Doc! And I got to think about Kimday a little. It's between Las Vegas, NOLA, and Disneyworld. Thoughts?

Best part of today: someone asked me what I was going to do with my PhD, and I said, "Construction.[in keeping with the Office Space theme of the day]" He believed me. I love that! I'm only half kidding, though. I am so there if the whole secret agent in a sexy trench coat and hot shoes thing doesn't work out.

The Queen

2009-09-20T02:45:00.003-05:00

I unequivocally reign at Rock Band (minus the guitar part where I only approach subpar).

Just sayin'

Spent today at the crazy coffee shop studying and people watching and then playing wii. Much to tell but for now must get sleep.

I would never close the door to you, Lee

2009-09-12T22:16:00.006-05:00

Finding it very hard to focus this weekend. I have much writing that needs to get done, but I keep distracting myself with cooking, reading blogs on how to can your own fruit and such homespun loveliness (like I would actually do any of that), and watching Lee Mead sing in a loincloth.
Oof--that's as close as I can get to writing the sound effect I make when I watch it.

I just can't get back into school. Not sure what's up with that. Lost momentum, motivation, morale...meh.

So, I think I'll have a little vid fest: clips of The West End Production of Joseph, Firefly, and Serendipity. Lee, Nathan, and Cusack. Throw in a few X-Files epis, and I'll approach Nirvana.

Ooo and maybe I'll stay up all night reading a novel. Yummy happiness!

Ticked off but not dying

2009-08-30T19:51:00.003-05:00

Well, there are no bullseye rashes or signs of necrosis, so I suppose I will live from the tick bite. Sad to say, though, the tick didn't fare as well. You know, he actually died while consuming, which means either that my blood is poisonous to living creatures (which is cool in a mutant, comic bookesque sort of way) or that my boobs were just too much for him. Either way, I'm ok with it, and Sir Tick is all wrapped up in a John Doe bag (Ziploc, actually) in the event that I need to present it to a doctor or entomologist.

And now onto the semester at hand. I haven't even started classes yet, and I have something due tomorrow. This is going to be one bitch of a semester. I'm taking an overload, but there is a remote possibility that I can get to my dissertation a semester early if I rock this semester hard. And that is a plus in my book.

So with powerade and cheetos (yeah, I'm allergic to cheese, but damn, I've been craving these damn things for weeks now. Just can't shake it) strategically placed on my desk, I am prepared to procrastinate the proposal introduction I have to write before tomorrow. And so I am going to go water some plants, do some laundry, and then bake some cookies. And then I'll write the thing.

omg omg omg omg

2009-08-29T21:36:00.003-05:00

A tick bit my boob! It bit my boob! I'm gonna have gangrenous boobs or something!! You laugh, but I google imaged tick bites, and people's limbs were falling off. omg omg omg omg. I don't have time for lyme's disease or gangrenous boobs!

Why are bugs always attracted to my netherregions? Remember the mosquito, g?

This is why we love Google Talk

2009-08-28T00:02:00.003-05:00

So the Prax and I have been drinking russians (or bourbon for prax) and scoping out our next houses in the Stepford vintage township, and this somehow led to a discussion about various places I might want to live when I graduate. And then we talked about the one person who apparently reads this blog from NY, whom I am halfway convinced is John Cusack because well, why wouldn't it be John Cusack?

And so then, we began trying to figure out how to woo said John Hughes creation (god that sounds like something from Rocky Horror, doesn't it?) via blogger. And Prax made the excellent suggestion of a top 5 ways of wooing John Cusack list. I added a mix tape into the discussion, and so here we are.

The problem, however, is that despite the absolute futility of the task, it is not an endeavor to be taken lightly, for John Cusack is not merely a trophy husband, a dollar store prize to be won! And so, I retire to an evening bubble bath with the sounds of The Clash echoing through my house--thinking, pondering, musing...

suggestions are welcome. :)

The future is unwritten.

Ok and just to fuel the fire

2009-08-27T22:22:00.004-05:00

If you think I'm being hyperbolic here (which I admit I am often prone to be), just look at this master planned TOWN. Not community, mind you. TOWN. I know for a fact that there are 3 registered democrats in Vintage Township. They don't actively participate in anything, however.

Stepford family, anyone? I really encourage you to browse the site, especially the map of the town. It's astounding.

My apologies to Cole Porter

2009-08-27T21:37:00.003-05:00

Every time I look down on this sad little town
Whether blue or grey be her skies
Whether loud be her cheers or soft be her tears
more and more do I realize:

I hate Lubbock in the springtime
I hate Lubbock in the fall
I hate Lubbock in the winter when it drizzles
I hate Lubbock in the summer when it sizzles

I hate Lubbock
Oh why oh why do I hate Lubbock
I really do not know.

Ok, hate may be a strong word, but I've been here a year now, and it's really getting to me. I love the weather. And though they lack any form of decent technology or the wherewithal to do anything about the reason for which I might be calling, call centers are much more friendly here. They have sno cones year round, and that is always a plus. And the city is overrun with duck roosters and prairie dogs, which are dear to my heart.

But I just don't get these people here. They speak a language I simply don't understand. For instance, if someone here asks you, "Would you like to [insert something to do]," they aren't asking you for your preference. They are telling you to do it. I was ordering coffee the other day, and the woman behind the counter asked, "Would you like to pay for your coffee when it's ready?" I said, "No, that's ok. I'll pay now." And she looked at me, bewildered, and said, "No, I mean, I'm waiting on change so I need you to wait to pay later." Why didn't she just say that?
Another instance: I'm at my practicum. A woman says to me, "Would you like to push the baby buggy (yes, that's what she called it)?" I said, "No, thank you." And then the other woman said, "She's leaving. You need to push the baby buggy." Even more bewildering is that in my practicum, I'm there to freaking evaluate these people as teachers, and they are giving me baby buggies (sp???).

And holy red footed llama, the freaking smile. It's seriously like the kiss of death. If one of these bleach blond helmet headed women here smile at you and their right eye twinkles, you are a goner. Sign that will and move on because that woman is going to somehow passive aggressively ruin your life so that you will never work, eat, or live in that community again.

And this, THIS is Lubbock's idea of a feminist website. Are you fucking kidding me? Granted there are a few essays that have substance, but for the most part, if you don't puke from it, you can get a few laughs off of it.

And the men? They are like a bunch of giant necks prancing around, arms akimbo because they won't go straight anymore. Farm boys, corn fed, they call them. I call them ridiculously spoiled misogynistic pricks.

I'm trying to stay focused--trying to just maintain tunnel vision on my schoolwork. But it is just getting to me! And the more I get involved with the democratic group here, the more angry I become. We are ignored, forbidden to speak, and are too small in number to bitch slap these corrupt people in charge. What needs to happen is that we collectively grab our ovaries and balls and then place some of these jackass city council members in a camel clutch and make them humble like Brian Blair (like that, prax?).

Do you know that they are trying to turn one of the oldest art galleries in town into a visitor center? And they canceled the West Texas Music Festival (West Texas' version of SXSW) for fear that *gasp* it might encourage drinking. They had a biker rally here to raise money for domestic violence shelters in the area, and the city council wouldn't allow beer. How do you think the attendance was for that little fundraiser? OH, and here's the best, in 2004, they defaced a piece of art saying it was pagan. Here's the story.

The more I hear about it, the angrier I get, and what incenses me most is that our group seems to be powerless to do anything about it. And furthermore, some of the people in the group are too scared to make it known that they are, indeed, democrats. It's unbelievable. It's like the Democratic party in Lubbock is an underground movement.

Sigh. I need a white russian.

Fahrenheit wha?

2009-08-26T00:19:00.004-05:00

Sigh. Rest is over. Back to the grind. But first, what would Her Crankiness do without letting out a little rant?

We step back to a week ago as I made my way through the LBB airport. All I wanted to do was get out of Dodge the simplest way possible and in one piece. This means I packed light--one carry on, no laptop, flip flops for an easy toss into the xray bin. I figured I'd be through the line in a jiffy, ready to head for the mesas. Wrong.

A husky woman and her little henchwoman stopped me with the flip of a blue latexed hand (two by two, hands of blue). Husky says, "Do you have books in there?" Stunned, I say, "Um, yes." She motions to Igora to start the ransack process.

"How many?"
"I'm sorry, wha..."
"How many books?" She's impatient at this point, adjusting her belt and sucking in her gut.

"Um, 2"
"Really? 2?" She looks at Igora who laughs a sort of half whimper--meheheh, meheheh
"Yeah, 2."
Husky cocks one eyebrow up and looks at me with the reprimanding teacher look.
"Well, I mean, I've got a writing journal and a notebook, too, bu..."
"Aha!"
[I'm thinking Aha what?]

So they flip through my books and begin questioning me about them. The conversation on my end goes something like this: Lolita, you know, Nabokov? Humbert Humbert steals a girl's soul? yeah, ok, well suffice it to say it's a classic. and the other? oh yeah, it's Reading Lolita in Tehran. It's written by a professor who teaches a group of students in her home...you know, really, they're just books, you know? I mean, can I have my books back?

I don't think I was much more eloquent than that. Perhaps I was, but as I recall, I was just in an absolute stupor, and every ounce of my mental reserves went to restraining myself from calling them both dumbasses and telling them to get their azure hands off my fucking books.

I'm still pretty miffed about this. What's ironic about the whole thing, however, is that as I got on the plane and opened up Reading Lolita, I read a passage about how her books were confiscated at the airport in Tehran.

Anyway, it's over, but it still puts me in the foulest mood. I cannot believe I am living in this place. I feel like Cincinnatus C stuck in a prison with a paper moon, a plastic spider and a jailer who wants to dance with me, defend me, and execute me simultaneously. Fucking ridiculous this place is.

The Q

2009-08-22T22:35:00.002-05:00

Got back from NM a few hours ago. Lovely trip for the most part. It actually felt like a vacation, which is probably because it wasn't tied into a conference of some sort. I walked for hours, visited galleries, took photos of anything that spoke to my heart, and ate green chiles with every meal. And I re-read Nabokov novels all week whilst drinking mass quantities of coffee and watching the sun either rise or set on my balcony or at some little patio cafe.

I also had the epiphany that I absolutely love being in a hotel and in an unfamiliar city alone.

The only downside was my little jaunt to Santa Fe, a city (I've learned) that I find offensive in its pretentiousness and overabundance of linen and straw hats. It is rugged and beautiful, but unlike Georgia O'Keefe, it is not "my city." That led me to realize that I'm not sure I've found my city yet. It might actually be in Chicago. I certainly did find myself while living there. Just not sure if it's home forever, though. Home forever, I think, would need to have mountains.

Ok, I'm exhausted. Going to indulge myself with a bubble bath and a pinot noir. There were a few humorous little anecdotes to share, but I'll write more tomorrow.

Side note: G, November can't come soon enough. craving Kimday and beaujolais nouveau.

They all love soup and talking and not talking

2009-08-10T23:30:00.003-05:00

Ok, I can't go to bed without a minirant. No offense to big happy haired people (ok maybe a little offense), but Lubbock has taken big hair to a new level with this--the amazing Bump It. I call it the Sarah Palin do, but here in the Hub City, it is called beautiful. [shudder].

And fine, girls, if having a hump on your head the size of Quasimodo's does it for you, then so be it. But, Praxis, does it remind you of something?

Take these broken tests and learn to cry

2009-07-27T18:40:00.002-05:00

I'm waiting for my exam grade to post on Blackboard, which requires that I log in EVERY TIME I want to check it as a security measure. And every time I do, I keep singing to myself, "Blackboard singing in the dead of night..."

I'm on hyperdrive. I have exactly 17 minutes of a break until my next session of writing craziness. This class is insane. I don't have time to write about it, but suffice it to say that we are all sleep deprived, and I'm not sure how any human can do this amount of work plus an assistantship, plus a practicum, and plus another class. A girl fell asleep in the middle of class discussion today. We only have 7 people in the class, and we were sitting in a circle. Poor thing. I couldn't laugh. I was fading myself.

If Dr. Kermit weren't so damned cute...

Addendum

2009-07-22T13:46:00.001-05:00

It did drop almost 40 degrees. It is 66 outside, and it was at 107 yesterday and in the 90s this morning. Wow.

Fast breaking news story

2009-07-22T13:30:00.003-05:00

So I'm sitting in class today, and I have this sudden realization that I kind of have the hots for my professor. This isn't so out of the ordinary--he's lanky, wears glasses, granolaish, and devastatingly geeky with big feet. But there's something that keeps bothering me about the attraction. He reminds me of someone. But who? Who is it? I keep listening to the voice, watching the mannerisms, and then he does this little squeaky thing with his voice when he is passionate about a subject and suddenly, I know who it is--AAAA! LOL! Just that realization made me start giggling uncontrollably in class. I had to excuse myself.

Ah man. Anyway, class ends, and I'm walking across campus in shorts and a tank when out of nowhere this freak thunderstorma and hailstorm hits. People begin running like it's Armageddon. I can't run because I'm in the most slippery flip flops imaginable. Then, the temp drops about 30 degrees it seemed, and people cram into the bookstore to buy sweatshirts, and I hate to say it, but I was among the throng. It is FREEZING!!

And now it's off for a nap but not before I recount the events of yesterday. I was at my practicum, when we hear this screeching and crashing sound. One of the women says, "Omg, did you see that," and I begin looking in the direction of the crash, when the other woman screams, "Kim, look out, he's behind you!" Yes, behind my desk, separated only from me by a pane of thin glass, was this man on the run from what appeared to be the SWAT Team. Unmarked police trucks come circle the building, and men in flak jackets and ski masks pour out like clown cars to chase the guy down.

Lubbock is becoming more exciting folks.

Pearly Whites

2009-07-15T16:23:00.001-05:00

Today is a day that I would really like to get paid for my smile again. I'll settle for the $4 I got for selling my books back. Guh.

Me llamo baño?

2009-07-12T01:10:00.002-05:00

So I left the crazy coffee shop to study elsewhere since there was a residue of weird energy (perhaps from the refractory reincarnation beams) left in the room. Plus, I needed some guacamole, so off it was to one of my favorite little Lubbock-Mex places in town. This month they are running a special on margaritas: Top Shelf are the same price as House, plus you get an extra shot of your fave top shelf tequila as a floater. The food is good, too, and I'm a sucker for any place with homemade tortillas. Anyway, they were having a contest of liquor consumption with several other Lubbock-Mex restaurants in town, so they were begging us to stay after hours and have more fishbowl shaped 'ritas. Guy next to me paid, and who am I to say no to such a worthy cause?

But the thing about this place is the bathroom. They pipe in language learning tapes, which I've heard in restaurants before, but this one is on a perpetual loop so that all you learn to say in Spanish is your name. It repeats: "Me llamo Carlos. Me llamo Sara. Me llamo Ricardo Montalban." You get the picture. Anyway, by the second or third fishbowl (and subsequent shots the bartenders gave us randomly to keep us there), we began calling the bathroom the Me llamo, as in, "I need to Me llamo." "Excuse me, I must go me llamo." "Pardon me, I hear the me llamo calling." "Oh, what the hell, I'll have another. I just me llamoed."

It traveled 'round the bar area to the waitstaff, and so I encourage you all to use the euphemism, "Excuse me, where are your me llamos?," the next time you are out and about. Maybe it will be the catch phrase that sweeps the nation.

The exorcism of Emily Rose?

2009-07-12T00:24:00.003-05:00

So I'm at the crazy coffee shop again. And I'm thinking that maybe this coffee shop is the new Catbirds because not since Catbirds have I seen such intriguing people. Today, however, was the weirdest.

Huddled in a corner was a fruit salad of people: one British guy, a bird looking older female, a man who looks like Omar Sharif, and 3 non-descript Lubbock-Americans. They were all having the strangest conversation, and at first, I thought I was witnessing a cult initiation. And it might be that the cult thing is right on, but the more I listened in, the more I am convinced there is something deeper.

They kept having this conversation about good spirits and bad spirits and light beams and refractory reincarnation, which I have googled and have only come up with this, a site which only furthers my hypothesis that what I witnessed was some type of stereotypical alien brainwashing technique a la 1967. Note the meteorite reference.

Anyway, so they have these conversations about good spirits and bad spirits. Of course, the bad spirits were all of the rest of us in the shop, and the good spirits dwelled inside the recruits, and it's not worth recanting the actual script of the convo as it is to convey the tone with which it was said. First of all, anyone who is an avid B sci fi movie fan knows that the bad alien generally has a British accent or at least an affected one. Plus, the other 3 cronies were repeating everything he said in this sing song tone.

And then, boy #1 brings out the holy laptop. And Bird Woman and Sharif start whispering in this undecipherable language. And I SWEAR the woman hisses like a snake as boy #2 mentions holy water. British Alien puts his hand out in a very calm Khanlike manner and silences Bird Woman with a look. It became very cold--in the coffee shop. British villain explains to the Lubbockites that holy water will not do in this instance. Talking, speaking soothing speech will suffice.

And then all of a sudden, louder than a damn movie theater, there is a beeping. And then a woman speaks via the internet. Boy #1 explains to her that he is here with Ka'el and friends and Ka'el (British chap) breaks in and says soothingly: "It is time. Put the boy on."

So then this freakin kid comes on Skype screaming bloody murder and probably vomiting pea soup, to boot. He/she (hard to tell with the screaming) does this for about 5 minutes straight, loud enough that the entire coffee shop is staring in the general direction of the freak corner. Then Ka'el says, "It is complete" (what is complete? The kid is still screaming), and they disconnect. Laptop closes. Talk commences about the farm and living opportunities on the compound (ok, I embellished that one), and then they all walk away.

Really? WTF was that? Dorksided.

A real live mouseketeer

2009-07-01T16:06:00.004-05:00

And I thought they were extinct like leprechauns, unicorns, and debutantes. G, you would appreciate this.

Really, I'm sitting at the coffee shop working on coding interviews, and I keep hearing this voice that sounds like a person on helium. And there is a kid in here, but her mouth is not moving, so unless she is a ventriliquist, it's not her. And then I see her, it's a full grown woman, but her voice is like Minnie Mouse. In fact, her voice is like Minnie if Minnie sucked down some helium. It's crazy wild!!! I just KNOW she is from Disneyland. I am so excited. And she's wearing gingham and a little sweater with a total Disneyfied haircut. I think she's short, too, G. Want me to get her number?

Yo momma is so funny...

2009-06-24T12:44:00.003-05:00

Just added a new link to my sidebar. Cracks me up almost as much as this does.

My soulmate

2009-06-19T13:51:00.004-05:00

Remember Jeffery N? Yeah, well, I'm convinced he was sitting next to me in the coffee shop yesterday. Convinced. I swear this man is my twin soul. He looks like Captain Kirk (the young one), drinks cappuccinos, had a Runner's World magazine on the table, and was reading Isaac Asimov. Plus, he was eating an organic cookie. Truly, he must be Jeffery N. ;) I should've asked.

On the track again

2009-06-19T13:44:00.002-05:00

Running again. Scored me a new running partner so we hit the trails at butt ass early this morning. Am eating chocolate and drinking Coke Zero and Grape crush at the same time while pounding coffee to stay awake at this point. And really, I want some fruity pebbles. But it was a good run--and in the rain, too. So sleepy.

Thinking about doing a half in November. Not sure I have the time for a full and my partner hasn't ever run more than 2 miles, so I think a 1/2 is a good goal for us. She's slower than I am, but that's ok with me because I enjoy running better when I am not having to keep up with crazy fast people. This way, I don't look like a dog trying to chase a postal truck. I might start putting in some alone miles at night in the gym, though.

I am making no sense. Summer school, my comps project, and my practicum are kicking my ass. And it's only Summer 1!!!

Sleepytime, like the tea, now.

Cupids, and Pixies, and Nessie, Oh MY!

2009-06-16T14:10:00.004-05:00

Just sitting here at the coffee shop, brain completely melted from sifting through and coding qualitative interviews that mean nothing to me in terms of a dissertation. Just pays the bills. For awhile, I was able to half-ass listen to a convo about various poets, making me wish I was back in the English department--sigh. The choices we make...

Now the tie to my literary past is gone, and I am left with nothing but thoughts of mythical creatures: gorgyles, leprechauns, slykicks, unicorns, big headed babies. This came about because next to me, there are three people sitting abreast on a couch drinking nothing, saying nothing, and simply staring at a sleeping baby with a look of prozaced bliss on their faces. Seriously, they look like Medusa sneaked up behind them and turned them to stone with this look on their face. I'm ok with it and all, but you're taking up a couch, dude. Then again, I'm taking up a table writing about them, so I guess I'd better get back to coding. At least I'm drinking coffee!

I've got another refill coming on my coffee, or I'd just leave. Please, gods above, grant me something interesting to watch or talk to.

I eat goats like you for breakfast.

2009-06-09T20:14:00.000-05:00

Just because I heart them.

Cheers

2009-06-01T20:46:00.002-05:00

To whomever gave me the bottle of Evan Williams Single Barrel Vintage 1994 at my last Stock My Bar Party: Thank you. I am enjoying it while watching the sunset.

Good thing I didn't delete this blog

2009-05-22T12:15:00.003-05:00

Ok, 3rd post of the day: I can't get Pachelbel's Canon in D out of my head, which is horrendous because I hate the song. It reminds me of taffeta and baby's breath. [shudder]. Of course, it's one of the hardest songs to get out of your head because canons are innately repetitive and wormlike and because this particular canon is embedded in nearly every pop song on the radio, or so says one comic.

Maybe I need to fill my head with one hit wonders. Ok. Here's one. No damnit, that sounds like a canon, too. Ok. um. Walking on Sunshine? Only if it's ala Jack Black. Yeah, that might do it. I needs me a little High Fidelity.

Settle a debate

2009-05-22T11:50:00.003-05:00

Ok all you zombie watchers out there, settle an argument for me. Would a hot air balloon be an effective escape vehicle? I claim no because (a) the learning curve on figuring the thing out would cause too much of a delay; (b) even if you had it figured out, it takes awhile to heat up and send the damn thing off anyway; (c) it's freakin open air--open air on a motorcycle is fine but in a slow moving basket, I don't think so. My friends disagree saying that you would store it on a roof or high building and send it off from there, thus zombies would not be able to immediately climb in. I say that I'm gonna be escaping in a much faster vehicle, and they can enjoy hanging around holding hands in a balloon singing Kum ba yah while zombies suck out their brains with a crazy straw.

Stranded at the drive in

2009-05-22T11:42:00.002-05:00

Tonight I'm checking off another item on my list of 34 things. #18 go to a drive in movie. I'm gonna see Star Trek (LOVE IT) again double featured with Terminator. I plan to wear pedal pushers, mary janes, and a long scarf around my ponytail for the full effect. Very excited.

As for others I've checked off in the past few weeks: #26 got a pedicure on my 1/2 bday celebration. And I'll be checking off #17--use my backyard for something this weekend for a Memorial Day party. The yard did get mowed by my #33, which allowed me to have this party and to keep my #20--avoid mowing the yard. It counts if someone else mows it, right?

That leaves 18 left to do before November. Not bad. Not bad.

pivot

2009-05-16T12:17:00.005-05:00

This morning (er afternoon), I am enjoying a strong cup of coffee while watching the rain melt upon my windows. It is a good day. yesterday, I found out that I received two more scholarships and that my paper was accepted into a national conference. I'll be headed to SF in the fall, one of my favorite places.

It's completely silent in my house (well aside from my cat snoring), and I'm a straining to hear the rain as it falls, but as I mentioned earlier, it's not falling but melting out of the Lubbock sky like goo from one of those chocolate fountains at weddings--a hideous sight until it produces chocolate yumminess. There is no sound, though I know there must be outside perhaps, but here in my sheetrock cocoon, I hear a surreal nothing.

It is a good day.

deliberation

2009-05-11T12:32:00.001-05:00

Ok, folks. I'm really not feeling this blog anymore, and while I still plan to be an avid reader of my "Blogs I Read" on the sidebar, I am giving great consideration to signing off.

I'll let you know, bloggy friends.

what a year for elections!

2009-05-09T23:01:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah, baby, the LBB just went WET!!!!

SLT at its best

2009-04-29T10:00:00.002-05:00

If I had only seen this before I took my theories final. It's a perfect example of social learning theory!

woo woo

2009-04-28T22:46:00.001-05:00

Am crazy, wicked, mad happy about the 49ers draft thus far.

Sigh

2009-04-28T00:38:00.003-05:00

So #33 was meet someone intriguing. Do you have to erase it when you might have screwed it all up? :(

Checking off my list 2

2009-04-22T18:16:00.002-05:00

I know it's been awhile, but I've been making headway on my list of 34 things.

Let's look at the ones I've done since I last posted:
9. Use my SWA gift certificate (Just did this one on my trip to see G in early April!)
11. quit buying pints of ice cream bc I only eat about 3 bites out of the container with a fork and then neglect it until it morphs into a little crystallized Whoville.(Now I just buy ice cream from the local shoppe)
13. pick up the wiper blades that I ordered from the dealer 3 weeks ago and just haven't picked up because I hate auto dealers
15. at least think about writing again (I thought about it. Didn't do it, but I thought about it)
22. actually remember how old I am. Seriously, I have to do the math, and I keep second guessing myself when I get an answer (I've finally got this one down)
33. meet someone intriguing

Ones I've done this year already:
5. put a zombie apocalypse escape plan together because I've really been putting that off for too long ;)
14. use my football servingware (used for Superbowl)
16. read at least one book on my to read list that is not school related (Yup! The Time Traveler's Wife)
27. get to the chiropractor at least once (yup in December)
29. celebrate groundhog's day (In full force)

Ones I start this summer for sure:
1. start my 7000 project (the one that has to be done before quals and dissertation) bc I am so ready to get out of this joint, even with the pretty snow.

So that leaves 22, if I did the math correctly (which I may not have because now that all I do is statistics, I can no longer compute simple mathematics).

Not too shabby. Plus I actually planted a garden, and I am watering it, people! Are you impressed?

Say it. Say it!

2009-04-06T22:41:00.001-05:00

Am just in the mood.

Becoming a Sweathog

2009-03-27T12:56:00.004-05:00

The short of it is that I had a concussion and haven't felt like posting. Instead, I've spent the past few days watching things like this: Zombie Bratz eating Soylent Barbies.

Ah, takes me back to my kid days.

Man, I hope my brain recovers.

Con te partiro paesi che non ho mai veduto e vissuto con te

2009-03-19T00:08:00.004-05:00

Ciao.

I spent the night in Italy, well pseudo-Italia anyway. Actually, Italy is the place I miss the most from my travels. I miss the language, the people, the beauty. I dated someone whose family was from Italy. He sometimes reads this blog (Ciao, Samuzzo), and while I miss having him in my life as a friend, I also miss the inclusion of Italy in my life, even if in bits and pieces. I was learning Italian pretty heavily at the time, and I gave it up since I moved from Chicago, but maybe I'll take it up again. Yeah, right, I'll do that in between 50 page articles on information processing simulation programs. Sigh. One day I'll have my life back.

It's a Wednesday night in Lubbock with no students in sight because they are all on real vacations, not imaginary ones. The traffic lights are all on blink mode, which is just odd. The place is a ghost town, really. I actually like Lubbock better this way, except for the fact that nothing is freaking open. Then again, these aren't spring break hours. Everything always closes at 9, but I am just always working late or home studying so I never noticed before.

Anyway, back to my trip. I decided to let my Botticelli curls down, which I don't do often. I feel exposed with my hair down, and since straight hair seems to be forever "in," I feel very self conscious about it. But it seemed that tonight was a night for curly locks, and I let them fall as they wished, spilling over my shoulders in wild abandon. I then slipped into a little empire waisted sundress and relished the 70 degree weather. I headed to my favorite little shopping area, which is a renovated apartment complex turned boutique quadrangle. No one was around, so it was very, very weird shopping. Everyone was staring at me greedily, so I gave up and went into the little wine cafe, not Italian but whatever. I probably should've ordered an Italian wine, but instead, I got an overpriced but good Argentenian malbec and a shiraz with a rather unfortunate name (Lengs and Cooter) and chatted up the staff since NO ONE was in the place. The chefs were bored and began having an Iron Chef contest, and guess who was the judge? That's right, yours truly. Yummers! Truly, it was hard to decide: Pumpkin and blackberry empanada with a pineapple wasabi (the secret ingredient) cream sauce or a pumpkin, pineapple, blackberry creme brulee with a hint of wasabi. The creme brulee was the better flavored of the two, but the presentation was lacking, and he didn't have a torch to caramelize the sugar. I scolded him for his lack of MacGyver culinary skills and awarded the prize to the empanada, which was unbelievably tasty. They tried to throw away the remains, but I asked them to leave them there. Hey, I'm not a real judge. I'm a hungry grad student who needs some free food, damnit.

Sadly, they had no coffee, so I tried to go to my favorite little place which was closed, as were all the other coffee shops in town. So I headed home in my gilded carriage, turned on some Bocelli and made a homemade cappuccino. And now I'm exhausted. Buon notte.

Strollin'

2009-03-18T15:07:00.002-05:00

It's gorgeous outside, so I decided to stay in Lbb a little longer. The skies are perfect, which reminds me that I plan to take my invisible jet out this evening. I walked to a different park this time and played on the swings a bit, jumping off at the end like I used to do as a kid. I think people thought I was a little mad.

Tonight will be Italy. I don't think I'll be dining out this evening. It's cheaper to eat at home, and I make much better Italian than I would get out here in the 'bock. I do plan to hang out in my favorite little shopping center. It reminds me of Venice, minus the canals, of course.
More to come.

Oh Cranky Girl

2009-03-18T12:32:00.003-05:00

Ireland was fun. I actually convinced a friend to go with me, and St. P is always much better with 2. The Texas Irishman was different but entertaining, and we enjoyed some Guinness. They were out of all things Paddy, however--no shepherd's pie, no more corned beef and cabbage. Apparently, they weren't expecting a "crowd" (in total, there were about 30 people there, if that), so they sold out of food and only had one waitress working the room. Needless to say, it took an hour and 10 min to get our beer and an order of salsa (which went well with Tejas Go Braugh).

Ah well, we took lots of pics, and my toes were slammin', except for the mud I walked through on the way to the restaurant. Apparently, I didn't get all of it off, as you can see from the picture.

Tejas Go Braugh

2009-03-17T14:29:00.002-05:00

These seems to be my only Irish option for the evening.

Yi, er, san

2009-03-17T12:45:00.003-05:00

I left my invisible plane in the hangar yesterday and decided to beam myself to Beijing instead. All went well, so I suppose the little kinks were worked out of the transporter. Hung out at a little 2 chair restaurant, ordered in Mandarin (I've got the food down really well), and enjoyed some tea. Sadly, they had no jiao zi (dumplings) nor does anyone else in Lubbock, so I couldn't satisfy my craving for some. I did find some at the Asian Mart along with some Jasmine tea and other necessities, and then headed to the park to study my Chinese, which has been something I've neglected since starting this PhD.

After the park, I took a regular plane home and spent the rest of the evening listening to Patti Smith and my curmudgeon mix on my ipod. Oh, and I watched Castle. Love me some Nathan Fillion.

Today, as expected, I'm headed to Ireland. Report to come.

Laissez un bon temps rouler

2009-03-16T11:32:00.004-05:00

Hopped on my magic invisible jet (yes, in imagination vacations you can have an invisible jet!) and headed to NOLA last night. Sadly, despite the amazing invisible jet, it was very hard to keep duping myself into believing I was actually in New Orleans because Lubbock is so dreadfully LAME! I went to the cajun restaurant, ordered a hurricane (they were out) and boudin (they were out). Decided on gumbo and new potatoes. Having grown up on the Gulf Coast, I am picky about my gumbo, so the roux was a little too thick for my taste. Plus, the shrimp was canned, and the roux had tilapia in it, which was a mite disturbing. The new potatoes were actually a new potato served whole on a plate with no seasoning. What made the place worse was the obnoxious college kids who were pissed off that they were working there instead of going to Florida. Oh and that the place, like everything else in Lbb, closes at 6 on Sundays. Side story--when I asked for the boudin, the waiter actually looked at me with this obnoxious look of disdain and disgust and said, "Um, this is totally not boudin season. It's like oysters, you know? We don't have oysters either because it is not the season. Gah." He really said Gah. How in the hell does boudin have its own season? It's pig! Do pigs have a season? Figures. I've been going mostly vegetarian lately, so maybe this was my hint to stay that way. Damnit, though, because I loves me some boudin.

So I leave and hit the only place open on Sunday, a shady little place called The Lone Star Oyster Bar or O-Bar to the locals. I figure oysters are NOLAish, so I stop there. And it was providence! Ended up talking to a guy for 6 hours, debating nature vs nurture, quantum mechanics and alternate universes, Shakespeare vs Marlowe, the evolution of the theatre, intubation techniques, hockey... Wow, a wonderful evening with a new well-read friend in the medical profession. We have plans to see a play sometime this week.

And that, my friends, was NOLA. I'm thinking of China tonight. Keep you posted.

Spring has sprung,

2009-03-15T15:56:00.002-05:00

the grass is riz, robins are twittering, and love is in the air. I just took a long walk in the neighborhood park since the sun is finally out and we're at about 50. Actually, there are two parks. One is more family oriented, and the other one has a 3 mile jogging track and just miles of open grass for frisbee, soccer, etc. I decided to walk today. Walking tends to clear my head more than running, usually because I'm too focused on breathing properly (exercise induced asthma) when running. So I enjoyed my little walk, and it reminded me of why I spend the extra money to live in the only liberal part of town.

Love was everywhere--couples on picnics, pigeons twitterpating, a college couple making out in a tree, a college couple giving each other head on a park bench while an older man wearing nothing but a speedo and jogging shoes says to me, "Um, are they doing what I think they are doing?" Another older couple walking their dogs in the park. Ah, love everywhere!

And so I decided that my imagination vacation should take me to NOLA tonight. Off I go to Jazz Kitchen. It's not indigenous, but it'll have to do.

I need Vault just re-reading it

2009-03-14T23:29:00.001-05:00

Glinda--

I just had to search your blog to figure out what happened to us this night. Oh man. Remember Dave? My head hurts just thinking about it.

False Start

2009-03-14T23:20:00.003-05:00

So this is the part of Imagination Vacation where I sleep for about 10 hours straight without waking up even to pee. And then I get up and eat some eggs. Then I watch Harry Potter and fall asleep in the middle of it for about 5 hours. I then wake up, go to the grocery store, come home and make some 3 bean chili, eat some pie (for Pi day), and then watch The Police on PBS while drinking OJ mixed with ginger ale.

I think I'm gonna go back to sleep. Maybe IV starts tomorrow, or perhaps this is travel day. yeah, that's it. I'm on an airplane sleeping, except that I don't sleep on planes so that doesn't work. Whatever. Sleepytime.

Spring Break-ish

2009-03-13T20:38:00.002-05:00

Finally, I made it up the hill and over. It's all a sledding whirlwind of assignments on the other side, so I think I'll take a week to just sit on top of the hill a bit--perhaps to recline on top.

I've got a lot due post spring break and have two conferences to attend, so I have to get much done in the next few weeks. My friend, D, is going back to her lovely island home (yes, she's from the southern Carrib), and everyone else is gone somewhere spectacular and warm, so I'll be here in Ltown freezing in the sleet. Not to worry, my friends. I have an imagination vacation planned, and it will be so much more fun than beaches, white sand, crystal blue water...

Yeah, ok. It will. I promise. I'm going to make a list of places I wish I was for SB, and then I'm going to incorporate similar elements from what the wonderful town of Lubbock has to offer. You know, for Paris day, I'll head to the local French cafe (yes, there is one), sip some wine and read a good book all day and then come home and watch Charade or something.

Stay tuned for my adventures!

That explains why I only have time to post this quiz

2009-03-12T00:12:00.001-05:00

You Are Running on 80% Adrenaline

Your Adrenaline Level: Borderline Dangerous

You're running around so fast, you don't realize how quickly life is passing you by.

While you may be getting a lot done, you're on the go lifestyle is probably wearing you out.

Are You Running on Adrenaline?

Ok, no really

2009-03-02T19:15:00.003-06:00

I'm trying to do this whole introspective thing and be less critical and yada yada. So really, do the rainbows and sunshine thing (keeping in mind they were not sarcastic) make your ass twitch or is it just me?

Grumble

2009-03-02T18:49:00.002-06:00

I think that subconsciously I want to sabotage my academic career and get the fuck out of Dodge. I lost a very important paper today and had to go to confession. Sadly, I was not absolved of my sin (no matter how many times I recited Hail Erikson), and now my prof hates me. Thank God evals were last week.

did I mention I'm sleep deprived? It's another long night ahead, too.

Oh, and then, to top it off with sugar coated cherries and syrup, I get a series of emails from people in my program bc I'm on some godforsaken distribution list. Obviously, they weren't talking about me. Here are some excerpts:

"Way to be positive ladies! you're awesome! I just want to give you a big bear hug and sprinkle you with... sprinkles! Kisses and Hugs all around! Love ya more than rainbows!" [mind you, this was one email]

" love you guys more than homemade sugar-free cookies with splenda frosting!!"

There were more about puppies and cupcakes and sunshine. God bless 'em. I had no real response. what do I say? Love you more than this assload of work I'm doing bc I actually give a shit about this program and don't plan to skate by on tears and plagiarism?

Sigh, perhaps I'm being too harsh. Perhaps I'm jealous because I want to feel the love of kittens and jujubees. Maybe I'm on my way to becoming the cantankerous old woman at the end of the street who picks bugs out of her hair. Maybe I'm there already.

Do you think I'd be blissful if I thought things like this? Really. I ask this as a true question with no sarcasm attached. I'm actually fairly happy with my life. I'd be happier out of Lubbock, but that's beside the point. I am average happy, not jujubee happy but you know, content. Would I just be as high as a crack whore in vegas (perhaps that wasn't the best analogy) if I had the capacity to say things like that in all seriousness? I just can't fathom it.

I really would try, but it just wouldn't come out right because I just don't feel that way. Maybe my heart is 3 sizes too small. Hmmph.

If I could do it with a straight face

2009-03-01T13:04:00.004-06:00

I would so lobby for us to present our dissertaton research in this format.

Is it just me, or did Marty the Landlord do it first?

Checking off my list

2009-03-01T00:12:00.003-06:00

I never thought it would happen, but I actually formulated my zombie escape plan tonight, checking #5 off of my list and answering a question on my midterm. Yes, my friends, I am a badass.

Yay!

2009-02-26T19:17:00.002-06:00

Prelims went well--"stellar" was the word of the day, thrown around like letters on Sesame Street. And today was my annual evaluation, so I get to await that letter.

And now it's time to buckle down on midterms. I just can't quite get started. I've tried to rectify this whole procrastination thing, but it's just not working. Unless I'm down to the wire, I just can't force myself to do anything. Sigh, not so stellar behind the scenes, huh?

In case the PhD thing doesn't work out

2009-02-22T11:11:00.003-06:00

I could release an album.

1 - Go to "Wikipedia." Hit “Random Article” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to "Random quotations" or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together (I do not have photoshop nor the desire to "put it all together," so you'll just have to imagine it. Plus, I don't like turning strangers' art into something unintended).

Name of band: Scioptric Ball
Name of Album: Tried to Make it Precise
Album Cover: See it here.

If I ever do have a band called Scioptric Ball (which I totally dig), I would most definitely ask Onesta e insolita to let me use that photo for my album cover.

Ok back to work.

Needing to check off

2009-02-22T00:15:00.003-06:00

I'm frustrated with all that is due (and not getting done) this weekend and feel the need to check some things off, so I now revert back to my list of 34 things. Here are the things I've completed:

#14--done on Superbowl Sunday
#16--Time Traveler's Wife
#20--but it's winter, so it doesn't count since the grass is dead.
#29--see post

Ok back to the 3 writing assignments due Monday. Sigh.

Cranky needs

2009-02-20T13:18:00.002-06:00

Play by typing "(Your first name) needs" into your favorite search engine. List the first ten hits that actually answer the question.

1. Cranky needs a virtual keyboard.
2. Cranky needs three sets to kickstart.
3. Cranky needs to Move it Move it.
4. Cranky needs to be cranky.
5. Cranky needs to finish [her] grad program. (This really did come up as a hit. There is another cranky grad student out there. Imagine that).
6. Cranky needs an intervention. (I'm not sure what for, but I am sure I need some sort of intervention).
7. Cranky needs a slightly paralyzed, special needs pet rat. (Ok, aside from the fact that I would totally adopt a special needs rat and have had special needs rats as pets in the past, I think it is hysterical that this blog is called Hot Cranky People.).
8. Cranky needs a better encore. (I don't know what this means either, but I just like the sound of it).
9. Cranky needs your rantings and ravings to be put to good use.
10. Cranky needs to get a different job.

And 11, because it is also true: Cranky needs a vacation!

Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition

2009-02-13T22:17:00.002-06:00

Am listening to the Dixie Chicks. Sin Wagon is on. I really do think I'll include that in my wedding soundtrack. LOL!

In other news, pre-prelim exam essays are done and approved. So is my Annual report. Now I just sit and await my exam date and evaluation meeting. Good thing I have the Chicks.

Radd McFladd

2009-02-08T23:13:00.002-06:00

Aw hell. The only post I can find about him, G, is this one. And that just won't do. You'll have to recreate the dream. I insist.

Hey woodchuck chuckers

2009-02-07T02:33:00.002-06:00

I did celebrate Marmot day again this year, but really, Prax, we need to do it up big next year. Seriously. We have a year to plan it, and I think it should happen. As in previous years, I celebrated with White Russians, Lebowski, Groundhog's Day (movie), tumbleweeds, and root beer (next best thing to sasparilla). I could not get anyone to go bowling with me, however, and though the book was a best seller, bowling alone is not for me.

Next year, Prax. Next year, we have to pay proper tribute to the marmot. As Prax says, "Ask not what the marmot can do for you. Ask what you can do for the marmot." Truer words were never said.

The good news is that there is a prairie dog run coming up next month, so perhaps that will make up for the lack of Groundhog's Day bowling. It's not the same, but it is a tribute to the critter, nonetheless.

In other news, the pigeons of Lubbock must've gotten word that I did not bowl on Gday because one of them (definitely a genetically enhanced bird bc that sucker was big) came at me talons first this afternoon. Seriously, it flew up in my face with talons flailed. I just sort of froze in a startle response while two girls behind me did the screaming for me. Lol. That was incredibly odd. It really stopped itself and fluttered less than a millimeter from my face.

Then I headed out to do some running. I'm training again, this time not for a race, per se, but as part of a competition. I'm on a team, and we are competing mileagewise with other teams on campus. It's part of this Get Fit initiative they've got going on. We have to log our miles, heart rates, veggies and fruit intake, etc. Then there's sort of a Biggest Loser type of challenge process, and someone wins. We're in the advanced level, and my teammates are triathletes, so I've got to keep up my end of the bargain. I did hill training today, and I forgot how much I missed that! And so I am now back from eating some carb replenishment, and it's probably time for bed--though I have a stack of novels to get through (oh and some articles and stats assignments to do, too, but who wants to do that?).

And finally, I just looked in the mirror, and I have smudges under my eyes. how is it that no one told me that my eyeliner smeared. Really? Come on. That is just wrong. I sat at Ihop like that all night? Guh. Serves me right though. Nothing ever goes right when you don't bowl on Gday.

Looney iTunes

2009-02-05T23:01:00.002-06:00

I just couldn't resist this meme:

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Sapodilla
[4 Brass]

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
All I Really Want
[A. Morrisette]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL
You Won't Make a Fool Out of Me
[Flogging Molly]

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Knowing Me Knowing You
[ABBA]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
The Fool on the Hill (Omg, this made me guffaw!)
[Beatles]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Troublemaker (lol)
[Weezer]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I Found a Reason
[Cat Power]

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
I Wish I Felt Nothing
[Wallflowers]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I Get Along Without You Very Well (so true)
[Chet Baker]

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Love me or Leave me (This, too!)
[Billie Holiday]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Remember to Breathe (true, too)
[Dashboard Confessional]

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Sin Wagon (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
[Dixie Chicks]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Lubbock or Leave it (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA--oh man, I hope I am not living here when I die)
[Dixie Chicks]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Pain (omg, this just gets more hysterical)
[Elton John]

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Lithium (lol! So not what I want to do but funny nonetheless)
[Evanescence]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Nothing (true)
[Depeche Mode]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Oh L'amour (yep)
[Erasure]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Ain't No Sunshine
[Bill Withers]

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Lay Your Hands on Me (bwahahahaha)
[Bon Jovi]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Paralyzer
[Finger Eleven]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Bixby Canyon Bridge (I'll probably be living under it)
[Death Cab for Cutie]

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
The Way Things Are (poignant, don't you think?)
[Fiona Apple]

In honor of the superbowl

2009-02-03T20:40:00.002-06:00

I did celebrate Groundhog's day, so more of that later. For now, I'm celebrating the fact that they FINALLY put my scholarship check in the mail. I've been waiting since August. So instead of a lengthy marmot post, I'll just post this quiz result.

You Are a Two Point Conversion

You are an adept risk taker. You love to go for the glory.

You do what others are scared to do, and it pays off!

You have no fear, and because of this, you're able to look at the odds rationally.

You've taken enough small risks to get ahead in life, even if every risk hasn't panned out.

What Football Scoring Method Are You?

I'd better get started on that zombie escape plan

2009-01-31T16:56:00.001-06:00

53%

You know it

2009-01-31T01:04:00.000-06:00

Your Vampire Name Is: Opal of Pain

I never knew what life was until it ran out in a red gush over my lips, my hands!

What's Your Vampire Name?

It's official

2009-01-31T00:19:00.001-06:00

You Are a Total Procrastinator

If you can a task off, you will. You hate doing chores and work.

Almost all of your tasks get done late, if they even get done at all.

You often find life overwhelming and stressful. You feel like you'll never get everything done.

You spend more time worrying about your responsibilities than taking care of them.

It's likely that you procrastinate because you have too much to do... or aren't doing the right things.

Learn how to let go of what's trivial and focus on what matters. Do the important stuff right now!

Are You a Procrastinator?

Ok and really

2009-01-28T22:04:00.003-06:00

why is it that I cannot make myself write a term paper until the deadline is literally looming a mere 8 or so hours away? What is that all about? It ain't that hard. Once I start, I finish the damn thing in minutes. I just can't do it without the pressure of the deadline. WTF?

Pondering eccentricity

2009-01-28T21:41:00.003-06:00

There's some small part of me that wants to be the eccentric outlier who just lives in her little world and communicates with those whom she feels like interacting with and ignores those whom she feels are not worth speaking to.

But here's a question: I know I won't be the hip but blase sort of eccentric who has green nail polish, pink starched pigtails, and wears a tutu (well, maybe the tutu) and carries a giant lolly. Those are the people I would feel would be not worth speaking to--if I were eccentric, I mean. So then, will I be the eccentric but brilliant scientist who lives in the Alps observing the burrowing and hibernation patterns of marmots and is highly revered but at a safe distance bc "well, she's kinda weird?" Or will I be the type of eccentric who writes poetry and smells of turpentine, wears knee high rainbow socks, a tiara, and quite possibly a tutu while sitting at a local fair trade coffee shop, uncrossing and crossing my legs continually (and not in a Sharon Stone way either). Or will I wait til the winter years to be eccentric and have strange garden gnomes in my yard, play the latest version of WOW, and tell people to go to hell randomly while blaming it on dementia? Or will I look perfectly "normal" but devote myself to speaking only in haikus or in iambic pentameter? Or will I be the Andy Kaufman sort of eccentric who just does things solely because I find them funny? Or will I be the PhD graduate who locks herself in a treehouse finding hidden messages in tree bark and froot loop box prizes, only to be ignored by those who don't see the messages, thus sending me to a spot under a bridge where I make a house out of the empty froot loop boxes and live on dandelions and buttercups?

Or will I just not be eccentric at all?

Really?

2009-01-28T14:36:00.000-06:00

Your results:
You are Derrial Book (Shepherd)

Derrial Book (Shepherd)		80%
Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)		70%
River (Stowaway)		70%
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)		65%
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)		60%
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)		60%
Inara Serra (Companion)		60%
Wash (Ship Pilot)		45%
Alliance		35%
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)		25%
A Reaver (Cannibal)		0%

Even though you are holy
you have a mysterious past.

Click here to take the Serenity Firefly Personality Test

Thinking Happy Thoughts

2009-01-28T13:34:00.003-06:00

Ok, yeah, I got nothin'.

I heart snow

2009-01-28T00:42:00.002-06:00

It was in the teens and snowy today, and I loved it! Of course, I didn't have to drive in it, but I did have to walk to and wait at the bus stop so that counts for something. Everything is so beautiful in the snow. [pause to reflect]

So awhile back, S&S inspired me to think about the 34 things I want to do before I'm 35. Wow. I suppose I'll start, but I can't promise all 34. Of course, one of my friends asked me if it was my bucket list, and now I'm all paranoid.

1. start my 7000 project (the one that has to be done before quals and dissertation) bc I am so ready to get out of this joint, even with the pretty snow.
2. finish at least one scrapbook in my pile of thrown together pictures. This will be difficult to achieve because I don't enjoy the scrapbooking process despite the fact that I want to have all my pictures together in a tidy, aesthetically pleasing package
3. wear one of my formal dresses somewhere prudent, as opposed to a random Monday that I term Megafabulous McDonald's Monday or something
4. sing on the street corner for money at least once
5. put a zombie apocalypse escape plan together because I've really been putting that off for too long ;)
6. start planning an Alternative Kimday Action Plan (AKAP) in case I'm stuck in the LBB alone again
7. take my mp3 player out of its package and actually load it
8. Give up guilt over stupid things like forgotten thank you notes from 2 years ago and the like
9. Use my SWA gift certificate
10. become better at shunning the foods I'm allergic to
11. quit buying pints of ice cream bc I only eat about 3 bites out of the container with a fork and then neglect it until it morphs into a little crystallized Whoville. If I want ice cream, I'll just go to the scoop shop
12. figure out what to do with the swarovski crystal kangaroo with the broken tail that a student gave me one year
13. pick up the wiper blades that I ordered from the dealer 3 weeks ago and just haven't picked up because I hate auto dealers
14. use my football servingware (hopefully this weekend)
15. at least think about writing again
16. read at least one book on my to read list that is not school related
17. actually use my backyard for something--a party, reading in a lawn chair, dancing naked, something!
18. go to a drive in theatre
19. just throw away a pillow. just toss it. I have this thing that I can't get rid of pillows. I buy new ones and either store the old ones (just in case--of what I don't know) or transform them into cat beds or back rests or something. it's insane. I have a problem.
20. avoid mowing my yard. I've done it thus far, so hopefully I can continue.
21. get another stamp on my passport (I stole this one from s&s)
22. actually remember how old I am. Seriously, I have to do the math, and I keep second guessing myself when I get an answer
23. while I don't have time to train for my 3rd marathon, I'd like to at least run a half this year
24. watch the first season of House
25. find some way to release my inner artist without having to spend a lot of money. Maybe I'll try out for community theatre. I'd try the lubbock ballet, but they are too snooty
26. treat myself to at least one pedicure
27. get to the chiropractor at least once
28. have a picnic in prairie dog town
29. celebrate groundhog's day
30. paint something. Anything.
31. have one entirely perfect witty moment--you know, like when you have the perfect comeback in utter dry nonchalance
32. go roller skating
33. meet someone intriguing
34. do something I've always wanted to do but have never done (and at this moment, that something escapes me)

Emerging from Muck

2009-01-26T00:14:00.003-06:00

Have had the stomach flu, a paper to write, and much research to do. It has been a busy few days, and I am weaker for it.

Plus, I am still fighting for my scholarship and am nearing the point when I scream my bloody head off, stand up on someone's desk, and start kicking papers around (not necessarily in that order). Seriously, I am in a financial crisis from these people, and they are giving me the run around and flat out lying and have been since April. That's the only way to put it. My only solace is to imagine punching them in the face repeatedly and then doing that little Zohan finger and foot thing: Smell it, smell it, smell it. Now take it! That's for you!

So today I was able to eat some broth and a potato. This thing is going around. Basically, you are fine, and then you get a massive headache and begin throwing up in the middle of the night for about an hour. The next day, you feel like a truck ran over you, and then you get to repeat it the next night. Luckily, it only lasts 48 hours. The sad thing is that I had made this divine little casserole, and I cannot even look at it bc, well, I'll spare you the details. Ugh. And I just can't afford to throw good food away. Sigh. Maybe I'll freeze it.

And then, as expected, I'm dancing the red tape tango with the tech school I taught at for a stint last year, W2 (or 4, which is it) wise. Blugga!

And yes, I still should rant about my landlord, but I just don't have the strength to do the post justice.

Post it

2009-01-21T13:17:00.001-06:00

This is a reminder that I need to rant about my landlord who JUST WOKE ME UP FROM A MUCH NEEDED NAP since I woke up every hour on the hour last night.

Going to try to sleep again.

"I'm Don Corleone, Mrs. Cavanaugh's cousin"

2009-01-19T12:54:00.005-06:00

Wow. I had a helluva dream last night. It was one of my infamous soundtracked dreams, which included the songs Round and Round by Ratt and Bit by Bit by Stephanie Mills (made famous by the Fletch soundtrack).

So it begins that I'm in high school again, only I'm the age I am right now. For some reason, though, I must still appear to be high school age because no one believes it. I go to a girlfriend's house in this posh mansion, and we are given strict orders not to allow any boys into the bedroom by the grandmother and matriarch of the house. The girl giggles, and I just cringe that I'm stuck in this high school life.

Girl, we'll call her Bunny, gets on her cell phone and calls up the boys who subsequently climb up the giant sycamore tree to rescue us. Her boy is some typical High School Musical sort of chap. Mine? Mine? Eugene Levy. Eugene Levy in character, you know? You've got to be kidding me. So Bunny and Buck start making out in the corner, and Eugene looks at me with hopeful eyes. I tell him we've got some packing to do--we're getting outta here. And I had these pills that I had to find, plus an important letter for the agency I worked for. It then hit me--I was undercover.

We hear steps coming down the hall. The matriarch is coming, so I push Levy under the bed, and B & B head to the shower. "Stupid arses," I mumble. Matriarch says, "We don't have any boys up here, do we?" And I tell her to get out of my way because I don't have time for her silliness. She glares at me, calls me an insolent little wench, and moves about her purposeless day. Then her dog looks at me, and I hand him a trail mix bar and move about my next task.

Levy is overcome with sexual fervor at the thought of my bravada, so he comes out from his hiding spot and plants a giant kiss on me. At first I'm appalled and then I realize that as I make out with him, he turns into Jim Sturgess and so I figure I should just keep making out with him for all humanity's sake. And the music here? The Flame by Cheap Trick.

We jump out the window (cue Quantum Leap type of music) and I hit some sort of wormhole jumping me to my next assignment which is as a teacher's aide in a failing day care center. My job is to sweep, mop, and scoop poop (and yes, they poop like dogs on the floor, these kids). [cue Bit by Bit]. I get the scoop on the director, turn her in for fraud and win approval from my boss who is Orson.

I say my Nannoo Nannoos and head off down the streets of Brooklyn (post another wormhole) headed for my next assignment. I'm wearing cropped editor's pants and tall boots. Lovin this assignment, I stop to look at the newspaper bit, and Round and Round begins playing. I shake my head and laugh.

New Year's Reso

2009-01-18T22:17:00.002-06:00

End of the Year Reflection

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? started a Phd program
2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't remember my resolutions
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes, my friend Karen
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, my uncle
5. What countries did you visit? none this year [sigh]
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? less freakin drama
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory? April something or the other when I did my 39.3; Dec 20-21. I don't want to talk about that weekend.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? a 4.0 in my program
9. What was your biggest failure? I dunno.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? no
11. What was the best thing you bought? Firefly DVD
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? the American public
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? cp
14. Where did most of your money go? school related expenses
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my Firefly DVD
16. What song/album will always remind you of 2008? Gravity
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? somewhat happier
thinner or fatter? thinner
richer or poorer? poorer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? relax
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? continuing to keep toxic people in my life.
20. How did you spend Christmas? with family
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? I have no idea, really
22. Did you fall in love in 2008? again and again
23. How many one night stands in this last year? a lady doesn't tell
24. What was your favorite TV program? Grey's Anatomy and House
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? hate is a strong word but yes
26. What was the best book(s) you read? Sadly, my pleasure reading came to a halt around August, but I reread Persuasion and enjoyed it better than I did in graduate school. Books I was disappointed in were Paint it Black and Love in the Time of Cholera. The latter was well written, but I just couldn't connect with the characters well. I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife currently.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? I don't know about greatest, but I find Death Cab for Cutie to be humorous; Red and Sleepercar were also surprising little finds.
28. What did you want and get? a 4.0
29. What did you want and not get? truth
30. What were your favorite films of this year? I haven't been to a lot of movies, sadly, so this list is sparse: The Dark Knight, Get Smart, X Files 2, Sweeney Todd
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 34. This was the worst Kimday ever, actually. I did nothing. Well, someone took me out to dinner, but it was lacking compared to previous Kimfests.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? a better Kimday or really, a larger circle of Lubbock friends which would have satisfied the Kimday lack
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? hoodies and jeans, the doctoral student's only fashion concept
34. What kept you sane? running
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? We'll go with Zach Braff bc once that whole positive thinking bullshit works, I'm gonna hook up with him
36. What political issue stirred you the most? the election
37. Who did you miss? friends in general
38. Who was the best new person you met? D
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. I don't know if I learned it yet, but I did realize that you can try your hardest to do everything right and still fail, so just do what's real for you.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
"I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds" [Fidelity--Regina Spektor]