A case of the fridays
Seriously something is wrong with me. We had a guest speaker in one of our classes today, and the woman's voice literally almost gave me a panic attack. I'm not kidding. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but the woman's voice made me anxious to a point that I thought I was going to have to leave the room. No hyperbole here, people.
Everything's fine as class starts. Prof introduces her; she smiles and takes the podium. And then it happened. She opened her mouth. First of all she has a soft voice, like a whisper of a ghost as it brushes past your shoulder. And it's high pictched like snow white. Add a dash of the slow Lubbockite drawl and the lisp of a bubbleheaded teenager. Plus, she smacks before she says things. "[smack] well [smack] you know [smack] I'm jusssso happy to be here [smack, little audible inhale] teeheeee."
ugh at this point I'm starting to shudder visibly, and I'm feeling this anxiety creeping up from the pit of my stomach. It's getting harder to breathe, you know, like that feeling you get if you're claustrophobic and stuck in a hot airplane with the windowshades down. yeah, that's the feeling. And I keep trying to make it go away, but she keeps talking.
And she talks to us like we're preschoolers who know absolutely nothing, asking us to fill in the blanks of her presentation: " [smack] And sssso [smack] when you have them fill out a consssssent form,[smack], you would have them put *what* on the line that ssssayssss ssssignature? hmmmm? [smack] That'sssssright. A *sssssignature*."
Worse than this, though, is that her vocal tone switches from the Snow White pitchiness to this weird voice that sounds like a little kid trying to imitate an adult talking--like that "case of the Mondays" woman. Yeah, that's it. She sounds exactly like that woman in a split personality with the cake passing woman! Oh my god it got under my skin. An hour and a half of this, and I seriously thought I was going to jump out of my seat. I couldn't breathe.
And I thought I was crazy--that the scone I ate for breakfast was just giving me some sort of weird reaction, but no NO! As soon as she stopped talking and showed a clip from 60 minutes, I swear it went away. It just melted away in reverse order of the way the symptoms appeared in the first place.
AND THEN SHE TALKED AGAIN! And it came back. It did! I'm not kidding.
Seriously, I'm getting all worked up thinking about it. ugh.
Breathe, Kim, Breathe.
Everything's fine as class starts. Prof introduces her; she smiles and takes the podium. And then it happened. She opened her mouth. First of all she has a soft voice, like a whisper of a ghost as it brushes past your shoulder. And it's high pictched like snow white. Add a dash of the slow Lubbockite drawl and the lisp of a bubbleheaded teenager. Plus, she smacks before she says things. "[smack] well [smack] you know [smack] I'm jusssso happy to be here [smack, little audible inhale] teeheeee."
ugh at this point I'm starting to shudder visibly, and I'm feeling this anxiety creeping up from the pit of my stomach. It's getting harder to breathe, you know, like that feeling you get if you're claustrophobic and stuck in a hot airplane with the windowshades down. yeah, that's the feeling. And I keep trying to make it go away, but she keeps talking.
And she talks to us like we're preschoolers who know absolutely nothing, asking us to fill in the blanks of her presentation: " [smack] And sssso [smack] when you have them fill out a consssssent form,[smack], you would have them put *what* on the line that ssssayssss ssssignature? hmmmm? [smack] That'sssssright. A *sssssignature*."
Worse than this, though, is that her vocal tone switches from the Snow White pitchiness to this weird voice that sounds like a little kid trying to imitate an adult talking--like that "case of the Mondays" woman. Yeah, that's it. She sounds exactly like that woman in a split personality with the cake passing woman! Oh my god it got under my skin. An hour and a half of this, and I seriously thought I was going to jump out of my seat. I couldn't breathe.
And I thought I was crazy--that the scone I ate for breakfast was just giving me some sort of weird reaction, but no NO! As soon as she stopped talking and showed a clip from 60 minutes, I swear it went away. It just melted away in reverse order of the way the symptoms appeared in the first place.
AND THEN SHE TALKED AGAIN! And it came back. It did! I'm not kidding.
Seriously, I'm getting all worked up thinking about it. ugh.
Breathe, Kim, Breathe.
Labels: creeped out
posted by Cranky at 7:33 PM
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