It's not easy being green

Graded 14 papers today. 7 were plagiarized. I hate my life.

So here is the list of places I've gone to grade papers this week:
Monday--Starbucks
Tuesday--Denny's
Wednesday--Chili's
Thursday--59 diner
Friday--IHOP
Saturday--day off
Sunday--Starbucks, TacoBell, and Empire Cafe (Every place was too damn cold. I couldn't get comfortable).

Some woman in Starbucks today was the most high maintenance broad I've ever seen. Early 40s, she comes in wearing little hot pants and a workout top complaining that since she's so thin, she's freezing in the cooooold weather (At this point it was 70) and should've worn sweats. Then she proceeds to order: "Hi. I'd like a Venti latte, nonfat, with little foam, exactly 200 degrees and a pinch of soy milk." The woman behind the counter just stares at her. She repeats it again, like some insensitive moron would do for someone who is hearing impaired, "VENTI LAAATAY, NONFAAAT, WITH LIIIIITUHL FOOOAM, EXAACTLEE 200 DEGREES, AND A SMIDGE OF SOY MILK." Is a smidge different than a pinch? I dunno, but the barista tried to do it anyway.

While waiting, HM hot pants decides to banter--nothing worse than a bantering Jersey Villager. I don't even remember what she was saying but everything referred to her workout and how much she works out and how anal she is about measuring out how much cellulite is under her skin, etc.

Then she gets her f*cking latte. OMG. I think her head turned purple, but she maintained this plasticine smile the whole time. She visibly gulped and said with this candy apple sweetness, "Um...maybe you should try this again. I can tell by taste that it is not 200 degrees. I must have it 200 degress because [some book] says that exactly 200 degrees is needed to burn fat cells while drinking it [note to dieters]. " And she shoves the 2 cups back into the barista's face. the barista, befuddled, attempts to test the milk and then heats it back up. HMHP says, "I don't know how they do it in The Tunnel, but it is always perfect. That Stefan, he always knows how to do me right [giggle giggle]. Maybe I should ask him how he makes it and come back and tell you. That wouldn't offend you, right. I mean, I just want to help you make it right. YOu wouldn't be offended by that, right? I mean, I want it the right way, and this way, you wouldn't have to think I was a pain in the ass by making you redo it because you wouldn't have to redo it, right?"

Barista hands the cups to another barista and says, "Make Trudi's drink, please."

This shit continues on forever. She gets on the phone and yells with candy apple sweetness, of course, at someone for being in a meeting when she called. The whole store is glaring at her, and she's bouncing around, talking like someone on meth. She finally leaves, and every barista in the place slams their head down on the counter simultaneously. Priceless.

That said, I'm tired of grading, so I'm doing my nothavingtothink addiction--quizzes and useless trivia online. Today, it's Sesame Street, in honor of the fact that i'm trying to get back at WTTW in Chicago. Keep your fingers crossed.

Here is why I'm Kermit the Frog.
You are somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean (except during paper grading time). You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though (As I shouldn't be). You are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinker. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires. (Come on WTTW)! You are both extroverts. Kermit gets along with everyone. Sure a few folks annoy him, but that's just because they are annoying (Couldn't have said it better myself. Cranky with justification, thank you). You definitely enjoy the company of others, and you don't have problems meeting new people... in fact you probably look forward to it. You are willing to take charge when necessary or work as part of a team.

Yep, Kermit's cool. I thought I'd be Oscar. At least I wasn't Bert with his bottlecap collection. BTW, I also picked up some interesting SS facts:

• Snuffy's real name is Aloysius Snuffleupagus
• Cookie was actually a potato chip monster in the 60s, as a branding icon. His name was Arnold.
• Despite all of the hype about Cookie's bad diet, he actually ate rice cakes on the set.

K, and have you checked out these creatures on PBS lately? It's like the Teletubbies on acid. Trippy.