$1700 Part 2
I make my way back to the bar, where Edgy is already sitting with Jack and Coke in hand, order a Cosmo and say, "What the hell is this?" At this point, we both look like wet dogs and are hunkering down in the part of the bar with little light to remain as inconspicuous as possible and to stay away from the aforementioned Katie. People keep walking up to us, "Are you a member?" By this time, David is long gone, so I just tell people, "Prospective...just figuring it all out."
Then we get the scoop from a Jewish woman from the Bronx who moved down here to be close to her son and is overwhelmingly unhappy with him because he (surprise) decided to move to California after she moved here. Now she's trying to get reacclimated and form some friendships (at this point she makes sure to tell me 20 times that this club is not just for hookups--that you CAN hookup but that you really just want to make a close network of friends here). Then she mutters through the side of her teeth that it's too damn expensive. I ask what she means by that, and she doesn't want to tell me. Finally, she relents and says that to get into this party, you had to pay a $1700 activation fee. $1700 gets you what, I ask. She says it gets you into the party (plus a $20 tip fee tacked on for the waiters and Katie people) and pays for administrative things like your personal appointment setter for the year. Apparently, after that, there is something to do everyday (they were all going skydiving the next day), but you have to pay entry fees for everything that you do, so the $1700 really only gets you this free party and a Katie of your own. At this point, it makes sense why she's a little miffed that I'm eating their food as a "prospective" member.
Twinge of guilt hits but quickly passes with my next mai tai (they make tasty ones) and a couple of Southwestern eggrolls. Couldn't get the coconut shrimp. Those people piled them on their plates like it was their last meal. Then again, can't blame them after paying $1700. Linen tablecloths and candles everywhere. It was like prom, really, only with more laugh lines and bald heads.
David comes up with his entourage, emerging from the masses like a cult leader, all eyes transfixed on him. Really, picture a guy with soap opera looks surrounded by little waifs with the Katie Holmes geek chic look and Blackberries in hand to capture your date requests. It was surreal. At this point, I'm texting 3 people at the same time in utter disbelief that I'm watching this. Wait...David raises his hand. It appears that he's blessing the people (I can't hear him over the whispers around me) no no, he's just saying thank you for lining his pockets with gold...er, I mean coming to the party.
He waves us on into the private screening room where we find more linen tables and waiters. I'm thinking, Ok, this is cool. What are we seeing? More food, more drinks, previews. Previews? what are these? They are all animated. What the hell? Then the movie. It's Over the Hedge?!? WTF? Animated squirrels and porcupines?
We're about halfway through the movie when wheezing comes from right behind us. It's some guy laughing. He laugheezes through the whole movie. Not a funny movie, really, even with rum, but this guy thinks it's a riot.
All in all, an interesting night. I've never attended a $1700 datefest before, and probably will never do it again, but at least I can say I had the experience.
Then we get the scoop from a Jewish woman from the Bronx who moved down here to be close to her son and is overwhelmingly unhappy with him because he (surprise) decided to move to California after she moved here. Now she's trying to get reacclimated and form some friendships (at this point she makes sure to tell me 20 times that this club is not just for hookups--that you CAN hookup but that you really just want to make a close network of friends here). Then she mutters through the side of her teeth that it's too damn expensive. I ask what she means by that, and she doesn't want to tell me. Finally, she relents and says that to get into this party, you had to pay a $1700 activation fee. $1700 gets you what, I ask. She says it gets you into the party (plus a $20 tip fee tacked on for the waiters and Katie people) and pays for administrative things like your personal appointment setter for the year. Apparently, after that, there is something to do everyday (they were all going skydiving the next day), but you have to pay entry fees for everything that you do, so the $1700 really only gets you this free party and a Katie of your own. At this point, it makes sense why she's a little miffed that I'm eating their food as a "prospective" member.
Twinge of guilt hits but quickly passes with my next mai tai (they make tasty ones) and a couple of Southwestern eggrolls. Couldn't get the coconut shrimp. Those people piled them on their plates like it was their last meal. Then again, can't blame them after paying $1700. Linen tablecloths and candles everywhere. It was like prom, really, only with more laugh lines and bald heads.
David comes up with his entourage, emerging from the masses like a cult leader, all eyes transfixed on him. Really, picture a guy with soap opera looks surrounded by little waifs with the Katie Holmes geek chic look and Blackberries in hand to capture your date requests. It was surreal. At this point, I'm texting 3 people at the same time in utter disbelief that I'm watching this. Wait...David raises his hand. It appears that he's blessing the people (I can't hear him over the whispers around me) no no, he's just saying thank you for lining his pockets with gold...er, I mean coming to the party.
He waves us on into the private screening room where we find more linen tables and waiters. I'm thinking, Ok, this is cool. What are we seeing? More food, more drinks, previews. Previews? what are these? They are all animated. What the hell? Then the movie. It's Over the Hedge?!? WTF? Animated squirrels and porcupines?
We're about halfway through the movie when wheezing comes from right behind us. It's some guy laughing. He laugheezes through the whole movie. Not a funny movie, really, even with rum, but this guy thinks it's a riot.
All in all, an interesting night. I've never attended a $1700 datefest before, and probably will never do it again, but at least I can say I had the experience.
posted by Cranky at 11:42 AM
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