Who knew?
So this weekend I went to a Latin competition (that's the Classical language) as an adult leader, and I learned a few good things about our favorite bar, Catbirds. I was talking to Colin, the man with the great upper body and no brains that every one of the female adults was salivating over, and apparently, he has passed out on the floor of Catbirds (or outside of Catbirds) once or twice in his life (it must be a trend). He claims it as a "jazz bar."
Now from my experience a jazz bar usually contains...um...JAZZ MUSIC and even more importantly, jazz musicians. To Catbirds' credit, they were playing cds of Ella Fitzgerald the last time I was there, but the bartender/dj didn't even know who she was. Plus, Ella was sadly followed by Keith Urban or some other boy band type cum country singer out there.
This argument fell on deaf ears yesterday, however, as Colin moved on from the jazz bar aspect to Catbirds' history. Apparently, if you look around and upish in the place (not something I ever think of doing in Catbirds) there are little curious windows all around. On some of these windows are etched little sperm, swimming their hearts out to the "live jazz," no doubt. I don't recall seeing these windows, but that doesn't matter to Colin who continues to discuss them. Apparently before Catbirds was the jazz mecca of the world, it was a head shop, and before that, it was some porno/peepshow/bookstore thingy, the windows being the viewing vehicle into peepshow paradise.
Ok, what I can't understand, and what I couldn't get accurately described to me by Colin, was exactly how people viewed a peepshow through the windows. Do they stand on ladders? Do they toss coins through the window after some big person on a ladder stands in front of it to block the view? How does this work? And where would they put the kleenex? There's always a table and a trash can for kleenex (don't ask me how I know this). Do they just have incredible balance? These questions and more have, strangely enough, haunted me for a few hours, and I can't figure it out. I'm tempted to go back to Catbirds to get a better visual on the situation, but a third visit might suck me into its frightening world.
And the question I couldn't answer but wish I could: Colin asked, "Well, if you hate it so much, why do you go?" Ok, answer #1--um, I only went three times. Answer #2--it was the lychee fruit at Mo Mongs (and that's the thing, really, I could blame the bartender at Mo Mong's for giving me martinis that were too strong, but Glinda always drinks wine, so that blows that theory). Answer #3--The first time we went was to meet up with a friend from HCC. The 2nd time was because we were so blitzed the first time that we didn't have an accurate picture of the place (damn that Lithuanian wine), and the 3rd time, I just can't justify. Maybe it was Darth pulling us into the dark side.
I don't know, but at least I'm not maintaining contact with the people who reside there. G, on the other hand...
Now from my experience a jazz bar usually contains...um...JAZZ MUSIC and even more importantly, jazz musicians. To Catbirds' credit, they were playing cds of Ella Fitzgerald the last time I was there, but the bartender/dj didn't even know who she was. Plus, Ella was sadly followed by Keith Urban or some other boy band type cum country singer out there.
This argument fell on deaf ears yesterday, however, as Colin moved on from the jazz bar aspect to Catbirds' history. Apparently, if you look around and upish in the place (not something I ever think of doing in Catbirds) there are little curious windows all around. On some of these windows are etched little sperm, swimming their hearts out to the "live jazz," no doubt. I don't recall seeing these windows, but that doesn't matter to Colin who continues to discuss them. Apparently before Catbirds was the jazz mecca of the world, it was a head shop, and before that, it was some porno/peepshow/bookstore thingy, the windows being the viewing vehicle into peepshow paradise.
Ok, what I can't understand, and what I couldn't get accurately described to me by Colin, was exactly how people viewed a peepshow through the windows. Do they stand on ladders? Do they toss coins through the window after some big person on a ladder stands in front of it to block the view? How does this work? And where would they put the kleenex? There's always a table and a trash can for kleenex (don't ask me how I know this). Do they just have incredible balance? These questions and more have, strangely enough, haunted me for a few hours, and I can't figure it out. I'm tempted to go back to Catbirds to get a better visual on the situation, but a third visit might suck me into its frightening world.
And the question I couldn't answer but wish I could: Colin asked, "Well, if you hate it so much, why do you go?" Ok, answer #1--um, I only went three times. Answer #2--it was the lychee fruit at Mo Mongs (and that's the thing, really, I could blame the bartender at Mo Mong's for giving me martinis that were too strong, but Glinda always drinks wine, so that blows that theory). Answer #3--The first time we went was to meet up with a friend from HCC. The 2nd time was because we were so blitzed the first time that we didn't have an accurate picture of the place (damn that Lithuanian wine), and the 3rd time, I just can't justify. Maybe it was Darth pulling us into the dark side.
I don't know, but at least I'm not maintaining contact with the people who reside there. G, on the other hand...
posted by Cranky at 10:09 AM
1 Comments:
bwahaha! god that just f*ing cracks me up. That place really is some sort of hellmouth. Though, I have to say, i think darth is pretty fly for a straight guy. I say we blame carl at mo mong's anyway. wine or not.
Post a Comment
<< Home