Melloween

Ladies and Gents,

Though I wholeheartedly enjoyed the fact that I was able to sit down at one of my parties for once, I hope that Friday night's chilltivities are not an indicator of what's to come on Kimday. Don't get me wrong. I love mellow parties, and I enjoyed Friday night, but for Kimday, I want a rip roarin', fork throwin', hoohah showin', red headed slut slammin', hair of the dog mornin' 5 day party!

So tonight's highlights take a different form. Here goes.

You know it's a mellow party when:

• Someone is wearing red shoes, panties and fishnets, and people just say, "Hmm, I thought it was a leotard."
  
• Someone brings O'Douls to my party--COME ON! Granted, they tried to sneak it in with about 6 bottles of wine, which I appreciate, but COME ON!
  
• Death silently glides up the stairs, and people just continue with their conversations.
• Despite my bouffant and neon green halter top, people think I'm not wearing a costume.
• We watch King of the Hill, for God's sake. (My fault entirely, but I had to have it on so that people would know I was actually wearing a costume).
• None of the angels (nor Glinda) drink. Ok, not true. My padawan, like a good apprentice, was drinking damn good whiskey. But even she said she had one of those lovey dovey sweet kind of dates. Mellow city!
• Half the party goes home at 11, leaving poor V alone talking to a drunk boy
• someone asks if her cute gay boy friend can come over, and he never does
  
• The student stays sober!!!!

Of course, I can't be too hard on the party because there were a couple of drunken highlights:

• one person passed out
  
• one person had to walk home
• one person kept running around with a napkin on his head screaming, "Mark it 8, dude!" which prompted us to turn on The Big Lebowski
  
• one person came hammered already because he had been at the Montrose Beer and Gun Club where he ate country fried bacon (yes, bacon fried in batter) and a wild boar
• lots of ass slapping
• a pregnant woman taking shots and smoking (none of us knew she was pregnant until she left)
• someone holding my hand up in the air saying, "She's like a fire hose with the end cut off, just spinning out of control! Isn't she great? And her hair's cute, too!!!"
• too much ass slapping
• someone offering to let me f*ck him up the ass with a dildo