NO NNO
I know you've all been worried about me. I've been on this good-hearted, philanthropic kick with this marathon and have turned into a kind, optimistic soul (or something akin to that). Well, never fear, Cranky is here.
Tonight is National Night Out, a ridiculous evening started most likely by a bunch of moms who had nothing better to do bc their kids were being watched by nannies and bc their husbands didn't pay enough attention to them. They even have awards for the best NNO party on the NNO website, but I digress.
The thing is, if I invited my friends over and we sat on the front lawns in our lawn chairs drinking beer, these same yuppie fucks would all sneer and call us white trash. Call it NNO, and it suddenly becomes worthy of socialite status.
And the worse part is that the only two people on the street that weren't invited to this little soirée were the reclusive man down the street who walks his three legged dog and ME. Perhaps it's because they know that if they invited me to their stupid shindig, I'd decline, but it's still offensive that they don't even ask. And what's even worse is that the only reason I found out about it was because I was out for my evening run, and I heard them all making comments about how I was wearing nothing but short shorts and a bra. THEY ARE CALLED TRACK SHORTS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND THE OTHER IS A FIONA SPORTS BRA. What should I expect when all of these women around here wear long skirts to run in. I'm not kidding; when they walk the dogs or run, they all look like this .
And can someone please explain to me why their pasty white children have to wear long sleeved LAYERED tops and skirts to play outside in 110 degree weather and 98% humidity?
Well, I'm gonna pull out my bottle of Evan Williams and sit out on the front porch in my PJs with the banjo guy I just met in the park while running. We'll invite over the recluse and his 3 legged dog, too. NNO, my ass.
Tonight is National Night Out, a ridiculous evening started most likely by a bunch of moms who had nothing better to do bc their kids were being watched by nannies and bc their husbands didn't pay enough attention to them. They even have awards for the best NNO party on the NNO website, but I digress.
The thing is, if I invited my friends over and we sat on the front lawns in our lawn chairs drinking beer, these same yuppie fucks would all sneer and call us white trash. Call it NNO, and it suddenly becomes worthy of socialite status.
And the worse part is that the only two people on the street that weren't invited to this little soirée were the reclusive man down the street who walks his three legged dog and ME. Perhaps it's because they know that if they invited me to their stupid shindig, I'd decline, but it's still offensive that they don't even ask. And what's even worse is that the only reason I found out about it was because I was out for my evening run, and I heard them all making comments about how I was wearing nothing but short shorts and a bra. THEY ARE CALLED TRACK SHORTS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND THE OTHER IS A FIONA SPORTS BRA. What should I expect when all of these women around here wear long skirts to run in. I'm not kidding; when they walk the dogs or run, they all look like this .
And can someone please explain to me why their pasty white children have to wear long sleeved LAYERED tops and skirts to play outside in 110 degree weather and 98% humidity?
Well, I'm gonna pull out my bottle of Evan Williams and sit out on the front porch in my PJs with the banjo guy I just met in the park while running. We'll invite over the recluse and his 3 legged dog, too. NNO, my ass.
Labels: cranky, nno, yuppie pricks
posted by Cranky at 7:48 PM
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