bizarro catbirds defined
So Darth came down...
hold on--wait a minute--I just have to say that Glinda is a freak with her obsession with amputeeism.
Ok, so Darth came down to the burbs and visited Bizarro Catbirds. His comment was that it was "NO Bizarro Catbirds." Here's the thing: Darth loves Catbirds, so of course, nothing can compare. I don't. It's skanky, fights break out, freaky people reside there, and I just get snockered for no reason at Catbirds. Why? I'm not sure. The drinks are watered down. Perhaps it's because G and I usually went to Mo Mongs for cocktails before Catbirds and stumbled across the street already drunk. I dunno.
Bizarro, by definition, is the doppelganger of something. Bizarro Catbirds, then, is the perfect doppelganger of Catbirds for these reasons:
1. It is huge, but no one circulates. They just huddle together in whatever room they choose. Catbirds is a one room place where everyone huddles together.
2. The drinks are typically watered down. See above. An exception to this is when the bartender that likes you is there and gives you divine drinks.
3. It's skanky. Suburban skanky.
4. Catbirds clientele is representative of the misfits of the area. So is Bizarro Catbirds.
5. No matter what day or what time of the day, some fight will break out. Or some nutjob will talk to me, giving me much fuel for my blog. The best posts come out of Catbirds or Bizarro Catbirds.
6. The worst, unexplained hangovers of my life are from both places.
7. Both places have unbelievable bartenders who have a tendency to give me potent drinks for free--many, many potent drinks [ah, now I see the snockered connection]
8. Both places also have a tendency to produce a gem now and then, someone with whom I can have a genuine conversation. This is rarely the case.
9. Despite the new nonsmoking rule in Houston, I come out of both places smelling like a chimney. It takes 4 hair washings to get the soot out of my hair.
10. It's the place I hate and dread going (every morning after starts with "I'm never going there again), but for some unknown reason, I keep ending up there.
I hate Catbirds and Bizarro Catbirds. And Praxis will experience it this weekend.
hold on--wait a minute--I just have to say that Glinda is a freak with her obsession with amputeeism.
Ok, so Darth came down to the burbs and visited Bizarro Catbirds. His comment was that it was "NO Bizarro Catbirds." Here's the thing: Darth loves Catbirds, so of course, nothing can compare. I don't. It's skanky, fights break out, freaky people reside there, and I just get snockered for no reason at Catbirds. Why? I'm not sure. The drinks are watered down. Perhaps it's because G and I usually went to Mo Mongs for cocktails before Catbirds and stumbled across the street already drunk. I dunno.
Bizarro, by definition, is the doppelganger of something. Bizarro Catbirds, then, is the perfect doppelganger of Catbirds for these reasons:
1. It is huge, but no one circulates. They just huddle together in whatever room they choose. Catbirds is a one room place where everyone huddles together.
2. The drinks are typically watered down. See above. An exception to this is when the bartender that likes you is there and gives you divine drinks.
3. It's skanky. Suburban skanky.
4. Catbirds clientele is representative of the misfits of the area. So is Bizarro Catbirds.
5. No matter what day or what time of the day, some fight will break out. Or some nutjob will talk to me, giving me much fuel for my blog. The best posts come out of Catbirds or Bizarro Catbirds.
6. The worst, unexplained hangovers of my life are from both places.
7. Both places have unbelievable bartenders who have a tendency to give me potent drinks for free--many, many potent drinks [ah, now I see the snockered connection]
8. Both places also have a tendency to produce a gem now and then, someone with whom I can have a genuine conversation. This is rarely the case.
9. Despite the new nonsmoking rule in Houston, I come out of both places smelling like a chimney. It takes 4 hair washings to get the soot out of my hair.
10. It's the place I hate and dread going (every morning after starts with "I'm never going there again), but for some unknown reason, I keep ending up there.
I hate Catbirds and Bizarro Catbirds. And Praxis will experience it this weekend.
Labels: bizarro catbirds, Catbirds
posted by Cranky at 10:16 PM
2 Comments:
Bizarro Catbirds is no Bizarro Catbirds. The only common denominator of the two is you. The people don't compare. The atmosphere doesn't compare. Catbirds plays 1940's jazz. Bizarro Catbirds had a cover band playing Loverboy, Journey, and Toto! The girls at Catbirds have tattoos all over. The majority of girls at Bizarro Catbirds have a tribal thingy on their lower back. And I've never seen so many fake breasts in my life! Ok, there are a few weirdos that approach you at both bars, I've seen it happen, but maybe it's because you're a psycho magnet. Wipe the blog off your chin and admit it! Bizarro Catbirds is no Bizarro Catbirds!
Oh, you need to come hang out at the new Barrio Catbirds. It's halfway between Catbirds and Bizarro Catbirds. The drinks are free and it has a hot tub! ;)
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