Why do I get myself into these messes?
So I went to the Megaloschool today to fill out new hire paperwork. Ok, I've already filled out a full application online, followed by a full app and background check in person, followed by another full app and background check online by an outside entity, and then today I went in to fill out new hire paperwork which consisted of a full app, a background check packet, a background check packet on my family of origin, a background check on any previous security clearances, an intellectual property clause, and a few other clauses in there for good measure. You think I'm kidding? I was there for 2 hours.
Then I got the syllabus. It is 95 pages long. The entire class I'm teaching is spelled out for me step by step. A monkey could do this job if he could pass the background check. They tried to convince me to take on a second class, but I told them that Thursdays from 6-10 was enough of a class for me. jesus!
and then it was time to meet with boob #2 who gave me a two page checklist of things we'd be going over. First of all, I have to check attendance every class period, four times a class period--EVERY HOUR! Secondly, I am responsible for calling any student who does not show up to class because teachers are ultimately responsible for their attendance. If your attendance levels drop below a certain level, you could be fired. They believe in a "customer satisfaction model" at this school, which means that the customer is always right and that it is our job as teachers to make sure that they are constantly satisfied. She told me that if students miss my class, it indicates to the big wigs at Megaloschool HQ that i must not be an exciting enough teacher.
She said that our bonuses are based upon the customer satisfaction survey each student gets at the end of class but that they hardly pass out bonuses bc they survey asks questions like, "Did your instructor give you a syllabus?" and the students can't remember what a syllabus is. The woman's suggestion: Remind your students everyday that you have handed them a syllabus.
She then told me that one of the students took a class there, made an A, signed up for the same class the next quarter, made an A, and then signed up again before they finally caught her. She didn't know she had already taken the class.
We are also expected to do everything possible to pass the students. Texas law prohibits students from getting credit for remedial classes, so since this school is private, they refuse to give any classes that don't count for credit. Therefore, these students have NEVER had a remedial course, can't write a sentence, and are taking comp 1 and 2. Sigh. And it is my responsibility to make sure they all pass.
The customer satisfaction model means that the students WILL pass as long as they don't miss class, so that means I just have to give them passing grades, I guess. jesus. where is this world coming to? No wonder we have such fuckwads running around this country.
So I've already given them my bloodtype and almost my firstborn, and I just sit there overwhelmed thinking, "Um, how do I get out of this mess?"
Why can't I just say FUCK YOU CRAZY BASTARDS and run the hell away?
Then I got the syllabus. It is 95 pages long. The entire class I'm teaching is spelled out for me step by step. A monkey could do this job if he could pass the background check. They tried to convince me to take on a second class, but I told them that Thursdays from 6-10 was enough of a class for me. jesus!
and then it was time to meet with boob #2 who gave me a two page checklist of things we'd be going over. First of all, I have to check attendance every class period, four times a class period--EVERY HOUR! Secondly, I am responsible for calling any student who does not show up to class because teachers are ultimately responsible for their attendance. If your attendance levels drop below a certain level, you could be fired. They believe in a "customer satisfaction model" at this school, which means that the customer is always right and that it is our job as teachers to make sure that they are constantly satisfied. She told me that if students miss my class, it indicates to the big wigs at Megaloschool HQ that i must not be an exciting enough teacher.
She said that our bonuses are based upon the customer satisfaction survey each student gets at the end of class but that they hardly pass out bonuses bc they survey asks questions like, "Did your instructor give you a syllabus?" and the students can't remember what a syllabus is. The woman's suggestion: Remind your students everyday that you have handed them a syllabus.
She then told me that one of the students took a class there, made an A, signed up for the same class the next quarter, made an A, and then signed up again before they finally caught her. She didn't know she had already taken the class.
We are also expected to do everything possible to pass the students. Texas law prohibits students from getting credit for remedial classes, so since this school is private, they refuse to give any classes that don't count for credit. Therefore, these students have NEVER had a remedial course, can't write a sentence, and are taking comp 1 and 2. Sigh. And it is my responsibility to make sure they all pass.
The customer satisfaction model means that the students WILL pass as long as they don't miss class, so that means I just have to give them passing grades, I guess. jesus. where is this world coming to? No wonder we have such fuckwads running around this country.
So I've already given them my bloodtype and almost my firstborn, and I just sit there overwhelmed thinking, "Um, how do I get out of this mess?"
Why can't I just say FUCK YOU CRAZY BASTARDS and run the hell away?
Labels: megaloschool
posted by Cranky at 8:49 PM
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