Freaky spiders

I've said before that I moved to the forest of abnormal sized creatures (yes, so big that they don't fit under my awning ass), and that includes arachnids. There are some seriously scary ass spiders around here, and they are getting a little too close for my comfort.

This morning, I put up my garage door, and from about 30 feet away, I could see the damned thing moving toward my car. It was a spider whose body alone was the size of a freakin' oreo, not to mention the 2 inch leg span. OMG. It was brown and cream. The thing is, from pictures, I can't tell if this spider was a brown recluse or a huntsman spider or what. It's just a big damn brown spider and creepy as hell. OMG. Ok apparently brown recluses are small. This one was HUGE!

I hate killing things, but the thing was blocking my car like a bouncer. I took a deep breath, and ran to the passenger side (it was in front of the rear driver side wheel) and crawled over to the driver's seat. I started my car, revved it, blew the horn (I'm thinking here that maybe the vibration would move the spider) and backed up. I can't see the spider anywhere, so I just hoped I didn't hit it. Well, I did. Smushed it. Her name was Violet. I sang Amazing Grace.

Then I get home tonight, verified that Violet was indeed dead, but Violet's lover was right there looking at her, angry that I had killed her partner! I pulled in, looked all over the ceiling and booked my ass out of my car as fast as possible. Tomorrow, I am wearing a hat, long sleeves, pants, and closed toed shoes. I don't care if it is 90 degrees outside. Ugh. Hell hath no fury like a widowed spider.