hard. 2. type
Oh man oh man. Asking for a gym membership for Kimday was a bad idea. It's nearing snow season here, and it gets dark early. With the crazy schedule I keep, I've found that I haven't had time to run in a month. So what did I want for Kimday? Money towards a gym membership.
First off, I have to say that I got a good deal on it. I got them to waive the $150 app fee and take 50% off each month. So it's 25 a month to make me feel like shit. So today I have my fitness assessment. I'm thinking, no big deal, a couple of calipers and a scale. it's my nightmare, but I'll make it through. Um, no.
the damn thing lasted an hour. He tested everything and made me feel adequately bad about myself but in a charming James Bond sort of way (British accent). I'm underweight and have too low a BMI, but my body fat percentage is not in the excellent range. it's only acceptable. That's like getting a C in body fat class and an F in the other 2. Ugh. So I'm supposed to put on weight and lose a couple of percentages of body fat to reach happy excellent status.
So what does Rod make me do? Yes, his name is Rod, pronounced so elegantly from his lips. He kills my ass. Full body workout isn't what I thought a full body workout was. I'm thinkin a couple of squats, some lunges, work my way around the little machines a bit. This man is a sadist. He made me do every exercise in the book. An HOUR! I worked out muscles I didn't even know I had! And now, I have difficulty using whatever muscle helps me push the shift key. And washing my hair hurt. Oh god.
I don't know which one did it, but it killed me. And so he gives me my workout plan. I can keep with my running schedule, but I have to add 3X week full body workout, one powerlifting class, one yoga class and kickboxing. He says my body was made to kickbox. I was born for it. Ok, Rod. I mean, when he talks to me, I just say ok bc of the accent, but now I'm home and mad. Are you shitting me? Log 10-15 miles a week plus yoga, powerlifting, weight training, and kickboxing? Guh. I have to do it for a month, or I can't quit and get my money back. We'll see. Oh god.
First off, I have to say that I got a good deal on it. I got them to waive the $150 app fee and take 50% off each month. So it's 25 a month to make me feel like shit. So today I have my fitness assessment. I'm thinking, no big deal, a couple of calipers and a scale. it's my nightmare, but I'll make it through. Um, no.
the damn thing lasted an hour. He tested everything and made me feel adequately bad about myself but in a charming James Bond sort of way (British accent). I'm underweight and have too low a BMI, but my body fat percentage is not in the excellent range. it's only acceptable. That's like getting a C in body fat class and an F in the other 2. Ugh. So I'm supposed to put on weight and lose a couple of percentages of body fat to reach happy excellent status.
So what does Rod make me do? Yes, his name is Rod, pronounced so elegantly from his lips. He kills my ass. Full body workout isn't what I thought a full body workout was. I'm thinkin a couple of squats, some lunges, work my way around the little machines a bit. This man is a sadist. He made me do every exercise in the book. An HOUR! I worked out muscles I didn't even know I had! And now, I have difficulty using whatever muscle helps me push the shift key. And washing my hair hurt. Oh god.
I don't know which one did it, but it killed me. And so he gives me my workout plan. I can keep with my running schedule, but I have to add 3X week full body workout, one powerlifting class, one yoga class and kickboxing. He says my body was made to kickbox. I was born for it. Ok, Rod. I mean, when he talks to me, I just say ok bc of the accent, but now I'm home and mad. Are you shitting me? Log 10-15 miles a week plus yoga, powerlifting, weight training, and kickboxing? Guh. I have to do it for a month, or I can't quit and get my money back. We'll see. Oh god.
posted by Cranky at 10:25 AM
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