ok and might I add

the 10-15 miles per week doesn't include my long runs. Rod said I could back off on kickboxing and powerlifting when the runs got long, but no slacking on the weight training.

Bite me, Rod.

hard. 2. type

Oh man oh man. Asking for a gym membership for Kimday was a bad idea. It's nearing snow season here, and it gets dark early. With the crazy schedule I keep, I've found that I haven't had time to run in a month. So what did I want for Kimday? Money towards a gym membership.

First off, I have to say that I got a good deal on it. I got them to waive the $150 app fee and take 50% off each month. So it's 25 a month to make me feel like shit. So today I have my fitness assessment. I'm thinking, no big deal, a couple of calipers and a scale. it's my nightmare, but I'll make it through. Um, no.

the damn thing lasted an hour. He tested everything and made me feel adequately bad about myself but in a charming James Bond sort of way (British accent). I'm underweight and have too low a BMI, but my body fat percentage is not in the excellent range. it's only acceptable. That's like getting a C in body fat class and an F in the other 2. Ugh. So I'm supposed to put on weight and lose a couple of percentages of body fat to reach happy excellent status.

So what does Rod make me do? Yes, his name is Rod, pronounced so elegantly from his lips. He kills my ass. Full body workout isn't what I thought a full body workout was. I'm thinkin a couple of squats, some lunges, work my way around the little machines a bit. This man is a sadist. He made me do every exercise in the book. An HOUR! I worked out muscles I didn't even know I had! And now, I have difficulty using whatever muscle helps me push the shift key. And washing my hair hurt. Oh god.

I don't know which one did it, but it killed me. And so he gives me my workout plan. I can keep with my running schedule, but I have to add 3X week full body workout, one powerlifting class, one yoga class and kickboxing. He says my body was made to kickbox. I was born for it. Ok, Rod. I mean, when he talks to me, I just say ok bc of the accent, but now I'm home and mad. Are you shitting me? Log 10-15 miles a week plus yoga, powerlifting, weight training, and kickboxing? Guh. I have to do it for a month, or I can't quit and get my money back. We'll see. Oh god.

all f*ckd up in the IT department

Today I learned a little lesson about IT bands. No, these are not music groups comprised of little technogeeks in full Trekkie gear. An IT band is the little band of muscle and tissue that connects your knee to your ass or something like that.

So I'm running along for 6 miles feeling great. I'm not winded or tired. It's awesome. Then I get this little grumbly pain in my hip like my hip muscle just tied up in a damn knot. I stop and stretch bc I can tell it's my IT band. A coach stops and tells me to buy a roller on the internet and roll myself on it at home. I'm picturing stopping at the home depot and picking up a paint roller, but I'm not sure if that's what she's talking about. She says not to worry and that I can run through it, so I do. 3 more miles of running through it.

Now I'm walking like a damn invalid, and I feel like a little gnome is inside my hip with a blow torch, giggling madly while he scorches my muscles. The email I got 2 weeks ago warning me about this says it's ITBS. ITBS to me was this cool little test we had to take every other year in school that had easy vocab and this great section where you had to imagine folding paper and figuring out where the hole punches would go. It was much less painful than this. I have to think that part of the problem [since the issue is only on one leg] was running on this wacked ass embankment that was all slanted. On the way back, I wised up and ran in the street.

So what does this mean for the crankster? I got the full spa treatment today, the one reserved for those who thrive on masochism--my first ice bath [that was brutal], rigorous stretching of my body into positions that they really shouldn't attempt, and probably the most intense and painful massage session I've ever received. At some point, I cried out,"Magadahhhlaaaa" and then explained breathlessly, "I ran out of curse words." Painful.

And what did I get out of the whole spa treatment? More pain, and I can still barely walk, and what's worse is that the rest of the muscles in my body are now starting to rebel. bastards.

And speaking of the need for ICU, my car is in the shop again for the second day in a row [after being told it was fixed]. damnit.