I didn't buy Co Cola's new energy drink

I'm writing this post after Devilport for a few reasons: 1) because I probably won't be able to focus on the screen tomorrow due to a migraine; 2) because I need to remind my tomorrow self that I am going on a 7 day detox (no cheating) starting tomorrow; and 3) because I just came to terms with my boobs. We are friends now.

Highlights from Devilday in random order: white out martini; almond joy martini; Twoshirts got a chocolate rim twice and two chocolate rods, as well; a piece of pizza for the first time in 4 months minus the cheese which I still can't stomach even the smell of; 2 1/2 veggie tamales mmmmmmm; the doppelganger of Praxis and the doppelgangers of Paris and Nicole; a fake fire on a flat screen that somehow gave off enough heat that we were all sweating; the retelling of old college drunk naked streaking stories; texting lines from Old School back and forth with Praxis; figuring out what tatoo twoshirts needs to get next; edgy playing with himself...er I mean darts with himself.

No boobie showing my friends, but I did pat them in the shower and tell them I loved them. It was a special moment.

Questions about the evening, though:

• Why do I order 1 drink from the devilport, drink it slowly for 30 minutes and then feel I need another which only intoxicates me to an unbelievable degree after one sip. It's like that one extra sip just fucking knocks me on my ass. TwoShirts and Edgy felt the same way.
  
• Why do women dye their hair to look like dirty zebras underbellies or like the mane of a pony that has been pimped out to petting zoos for too many years?
• Why do same women have orange skin? Is it the dye that makes them orange or is it the tanning creme?
• Why did I eat pizza and tamales?
• Why did I go to the Davenport to begin with?
• Why did I look at the woman in the mirror (not me) and think that her mirror image was actually a twin who looked EXACTLY like her, OMG!!!
• Why did TwoShirts and Edgy keep drinking at McElroys after we got blitzed at the D so that Edgy started taking shots of hot sauce and TS leaned back and said in his best Hank Hill, "Yep" over and over?
• Why is Edgy doing YOGA at 12:09 AM?
• Why do I only get the hiccups after the Devilport?

These are the questions. No one has the answers and if they do, I don't want to hear them. Now I must drink 4 glasses of water and do some logic problems before bed. Nighty nite!