random funnies 2

no, i'm not e.e. cummings; my keyboard still won't type capital letters. here are the random funnies for the day

• today i arrived at work from vacation to a picture of me on my door with the copy, 'looking for something more?'; also in my office were random scary ass puppets [these kind] and a ransom note for my 'runaway' plant explaining that it left due to neglect and abuse. this prompted me to hang one of the puppets from the ceiling of my coworker's office, hangman's style. redfaced, he explained to me that it would scar children to see it. yeah, well it scarred me to see them sitting in my office chair.
• bumper sticker on a jeep in front of me on my commute to work read, 'i have a perfect body. it's in the trunk and is starting to smell.' so many things funny about that bumper sticker
• having some sort of reading disability today. out of the corner of my eye, i saw the words fitness pedometer and interpreted them as fitness protection program. i guess this is where i'll go if i don't finish the marathon
• lol--because of my trauma with the puppets earlier, i typed in creepy puppets on you tube and came up with this which reminds me of harlan pepper from best in show

i guess that's it for now, but i'm fervently searching for some good joel osteen imitations online. sadly, everyone loves him.