Part 2--My Other Identity--Chicago

You say "Wanna go with?" when you mean "Do you want to come with me?" [I've stopped doing this now. Makes me kind of sad.]

You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily. [Nah, just take the L]

You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays. [True, but at least the city is beautiful]

You know the difference between Richard J Daley and Richard M Daley. [yep]

You can use two or three Daleyisms in context. [nope]

You can imitate the Mayor's whine. [heh heh]

You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun. [whiskey, lots of whiskey]

Da is a proper definite article. [Da Bears!]

You expect corruption in local politics. [always did]

You go to the Dells in the summer to get away from the other 20 thousand that followed you. [Da Dells]

You've been caught speeding in Wisconsin because you had Illinois plates. [escaped that one]

You guard your shoveled parking space with an old chair and unusable broom. [so true!]

You know why they call it "the Windy City." [yes, bc of the politicians originally, but it is very windy]

You know dead people who voted. [all the time]

You've never been to Springfield. [I have been, actually]

You know a good gyros joint. [yeah, on Clark St]

You know what Giordanos, Lou Malnati's, and Gino's have in common. [pizza, deep dish pizza]

You know exactly how many cars are "legally" allowed to turn left after the light turns red. [3]

You don't know which ethnic "fest" to choose on any given Summer weekend. [true, so many]

Your idea of relaxing and getting away from it all is Ravinia (with 10,000 others who have the same idea). [nothing like Ravinia, a bottle of wine, and an Italian Beef]

You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes. [YES! YES! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST... I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! --oh, and Dixie Square Mall]

You consider paying someone to watch your car at a sporting event as just another "city tax." [heh heh]

The "Living Room" is called the "front room" [fronch room actually]

You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do [oh yeah, don't screw that one up]

You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away [it is, especially if you take the L]

You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern Illinois" [Soooo true!]

You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake" [Da lake]

You refer to Chicago as "The City" [Da city]

"The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986 [Da Bears]

You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers! [F*ck the Packers!]

You buy "The Trib" [Da Trib, although I like da Sun Times better. It's easier for the commute bc it's in one piece]

You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car! [anytime is great weather for someone else to wash my car]

You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog [yes, onions, unnaturally green relish, peppers, tomatoes, and celery salt]

You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is [mmmm LOU's butter crust!]

You understand what "lake-effect" means [snow and lots of it]

You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at. You have ridden the "L" (Union station for Amtrak which takes you on long trips out; metra is the suburban train and has many little stations, and there is no reason to commute any other way but the L]

You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708, 312, & 815 [847 for north suburbs, 630 for south suburbs, 773 in the loop, 708 i don't know, 312 in the loop right in the center, and 815 is cell phone, I believe]

You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE." [NORTHSIDE!!!!]

You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet! [588-2300 EMPIIIRE]

You wear gym shoes, not sneakers. [yes, gym shoes]

You think kicking it outside of White Castles parking lot, (79th and Stony Island) is the "Freak Nik" [mmmm white castle]

You have ever been to the Tiki Room lounge in Hyde Park [dey make a good white russian, da Tiki room]

You have made a special trip downtown because you had a craving for Garrett's caramel and cheese popcorn. [OMG, I've never actually gotten to taste it because the line is literally 3 miles long]

You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Milwaukee's Best" -- no names, just beer signs out front. [So true! Old Style is my favorite bar]

It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight [yes]

You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there [again, take the L]

You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes." [paid every one but towing]

You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts" [Jewels, yeah. The rest no]

You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a headsock with one hole in it, in public from November through March. [I'm not ashamed of wearing a big headed baby on my head if it will keep me warm]