Ticked off but not dying

Well, there are no bullseye rashes or signs of necrosis, so I suppose I will live from the tick bite. Sad to say, though, the tick didn't fare as well. You know, he actually died while consuming, which means either that my blood is poisonous to living creatures (which is cool in a mutant, comic bookesque sort of way) or that my boobs were just too much for him. Either way, I'm ok with it, and Sir Tick is all wrapped up in a John Doe bag (Ziploc, actually) in the event that I need to present it to a doctor or entomologist.

And now onto the semester at hand. I haven't even started classes yet, and I have something due tomorrow. This is going to be one bitch of a semester. I'm taking an overload, but there is a remote possibility that I can get to my dissertation a semester early if I rock this semester hard. And that is a plus in my book.

So with powerade and cheetos (yeah, I'm allergic to cheese, but damn, I've been craving these damn things for weeks now. Just can't shake it) strategically placed on my desk, I am prepared to procrastinate the proposal introduction I have to write before tomorrow. And so I am going to go water some plants, do some laundry, and then bake some cookies. And then I'll write the thing.

Heyyy youuuu guyyyyys!

Ok seriously, I know that SBC thinks I'm a mutant freak, but now I'm starting to think so. This weekend, I was volunteering at an Academic Decathlon competition, when the lights suddenly go out for the Superquiz (the gameshowesque portion of the weekend). I mean, the whole school blew out, and McSteamy (aka the socialist boy), turns around and mutters something to the effect of,"You did it again, you mutant freak." He was referring to my past success with exploding little things when I get mad, but most specifically to the evening we spent at a local pub when the electricity went out for good for the evening.

It stayed out for a good 30 minutes when I jokingly turned to a friend and said, "You know, I think I'm gonna try to turn them back on now." So I do this little jedi/vulcan mind meld sort of move with my hands and face and stared at the lights. I kid you not, the bastards started glowing and firing back up. I almost choked laughing. It's coincidence, of course (or is it...hmmmm?). After that, I went to the bathroom and locked the stall door, and the damn lock shocked me, shooting out this blue flame that was about an inch long! OMG!

So then today, I went to work, and the damn lights blew out! I'm not kidding. WTF?

I'm gonna turn it on. I'm gonna bring you the power. It's coming down the line, strong as it can be, through the courtesy, of Cranky!

Nice New Years

I did end up going out for New Years this year, but it was to a nice wine bar where I could sit down all night. Any sudden movement would throw me into a coughing fit. And I managed to make a nice glass of wine last for about 2 hours before having to get another one. I felt bad holding on to a table for so long without drinking, especially since one of the friends I was with doesn't drink. So 2 glasses of wine for me for the evening and a nice jazz band with a balloon drop at the end. Very pleasant night. Yes, Cranky just used the word pleasant to describe an evening. I'm growing up.

Got home, went to bed at 1am (gasp) and woke up to a picture of the smallest, most disproportionate ass I've ever seen on my phone--or at least that's what I thought it was. Apparently, it was Glinda's arm, but knowing her affinity for short people with infirmities, I'm still not sure.

Back to work yesterday and today. Right now I'm 10 min late for work, and I'm still in my pjs eating oatmeal (as part of my eating healthy thing again) and typing this. Obviously New Year's Resolution is NOT getting to work on time. I worked 12.5 hours yesterday, though, so they can kiss my ass.

Elektra

Ok remember when SBC/ATT told me years ago that I was like .0001% of the world's people who conduct electricity? She said it to me matter of factly like she was reading off of a script. This is because I sometimes blow up tvs and in SBC's case, I screwed up the telephone/dial up system, resulting in the need to completely turn off my electricity for an entire day and then power back up.

For the past few days, I've been setting off store alarms for no reason. I just walk in, and they beep like crazy.

But tonight, I was going on a run, and I saw two streetlamps out. They flickered and went out yesterday as I was running by. Today, though, I stopped running and looked at one of the lights. It started kind of glowing, and I kept focusing on it. Pretty soon, it lit up.

Next I ran up to the other light. It was completely dead--no flicker. I thought for sure that the other light was a coincidence, so if I could get this one to light, I was officially a mutant freak. I stared at it for awhile, focused myself, and it started glowing and eventually lit up completely.

Explain that people! Freaky as hell.

Halloween Highlights

Top quotes of the evening in random but somewhat chronological order (Names are deleted to protect the guilty):

1. "I'm wearing Dickies, just like the people at Starbucks!"
2. "My hair is hard."
3. "I've got the golden ticket, and I'm melting on it."
4. [With fluttering eyes, after hearing his hair was beautiful] "Oh thank you!" [then with a gruff voice] "It took me two hours to do this makeup and these bobby pins are killing me. I swear this will never be permanent. I don't know how you girls do this."
5. "My name's on a tombstone. I'm going to eat it."
6. "Oh, I thought that was his...um...little superman hanging out."
7. "Dude, that guy was infinitely worse than that "Touch My Monkey" guy at your first stock my bar party, and that's saying a lot."
8. [following the last comment] "That touch my monkey guy is my husband--soon to be ex."
9. "Oh man, this is the made for tv version. It won't show the warthog giving head."
10. [discussing my Willy Wonka costume] "She's sooo cute. You just want to take her home and...I dunno. What do you do with Lucy from the Peanuts when you take her home?"
11. "I'm a freak. I'm a mutant freak. SBC told me so."
12. "I need to ask you a very personal question: Your voter registration card is on the back of the toilet, and I put it in the basket on the back of the toilet. Are you ok with that because I know that voter registrations are supposed to be secret and all and I don't want you to be mad that I touched it, but I thought you'd want it in the basket. My belly button ring is flashing. I normally have a belly button ring but it doesn't flash so this one is better. Look, I can shake my hips. I'm taking belly dancing lessons. [She stands still] See, are they shaking?"
13. [touching my wig] "You have short hair. You don't normally have short hair. You're a short haired girl. It's like Single White Female. I like it."
14. [said by same person as last comment] "What's Kevin Smith's wife supposed to be? I've been sitting here all night trying to figure it out, and I just don't know. Maybe she's just a hair girl."
15. "You throw the best parties because you have little things and because you are shottastic. I think I'm going to come to all of your parties. I like your house."
16. " I can't find my keys. They have a mace on them. Have you seen them? I can't drive without my keys with a mace on them. How will I get home?" [we hid the keys. Someone sober drove her home.]
17. "Will you please have the smokers go down the street, around the bend, through the thick forest, and into a sealed room?" (Ok, I embellished that one).
18. "I'm not sleeping. I'm just resting with my eyes closed, no open, no...closed...I dunno."
19. [said much like "I like grapes"] "I like cheese." [He was eating hummus].
20. "There was this little person and she was laughing and running around and laughing like HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA laughing and running around like this [she runs like a kid pretending to be an airplane] and laughing like HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and she got into her car and was still laughing like HAAAAAAAAAAAA and she looked at me and laughed like HAAAAAAAAAAAAA and I thought, 'Man, this might be fun' because I think she's moving into the neighborhood."