Rationing

I leave for HTown this weekend, so I'm trying to clean out my pantry before I go, saving myself an expensive (any amount of money is expensive at this point) trip to the store. So I am now eating a disgusting concoction of broth, tomatoes, and a can of beans. Oh god.

Ah, the days of red wine and, well, a complete meal are over for awhile, but the good news is that 12 graduate credit hours from those days at PISD transfer, so I get one semester knocked off my sentence in Lubbock! Wooooohooooooo!

Ok, I'm on the last few pages of my last final, so wish me luck!

Nothin' Ever Happens on Mars--er--Lubbock

Remember the good ole days when I used to post fantastically funny things that happened to me. Remember the rants about my job and the big headed baby? [Ah God, Glinda, I seriously almost linked to your flickr photo of her, but my inner angel just couldn't let me do it].

Remember the awesome parties and nights out at the devilport? That just doesn't happen anymore. And it's not like I've lost my cynicism or caustic wit (no, certainly not that). It's just that nothing freakin' happens here. You would think that somewhere in this town something funny would happen. I got nuttin'.

Perhaps it has a bit to do with the fact that I NEVER EVER EVER STOP WRITING FUCKING PAPERS AND TAKING FUCKING MIDTERMS. Yeah, it might have something to do with that. Jeez, I need a freakin' vacation.

Mmm, well there was that guy, a nicely dressed MBA type--should've been my first sign to stay away, who bought me a beer and then asked me what lotion I was wearing. I said that it was perfume, actu... And then he interrupted me and said, "Well I hope it's not Bath and Body Works bc I don't like to use that. Don't you have anything tingly in your purse?" Keep in mind, we're at a bar, and I just met him. This leads to him making other requests about watching him masturbate when I'm luckily saved by my friends. Yeah, see, there was a time when I could make even that funny, but here, no, it's just fucking creepy because it's fucking LUBBOCK!

Ok folks, goal for the weekend--I will find something funny to write about. It's all perspective. Yes, I will triumph!

'Twas Eastertime

and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble throughout my whole damn body!

I AM SO FREAKIN' SICK!

I've traded in my martinis for cocktails made from Nyquil, Dayquil, and Hot Toddies. The thought of food makes me sick, even queso, so you know I'm ill.

Damn the little pathogenic bastards!

Plus, to top it off today, a kid comes in my class, eye oozing with pink eye. She said she was diagnosed with it on Friday. Um...WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY CLASS TODAY THEN? So I send her down to the "nurse" (I put it in quotes to not only irritate Glinda but to also emphasize that while she is, indeed, an RN, she has no nursing skills beyond handing out bandaids and maxipads) who promptly sends her back to my class to wait for mom to pick her up? WTF? As soon as she left, I unloaded an entire can of lysol on everything--desks, floors, papers, doorknobs, you name it. I also must've covered my hands and arms in antibac gel 20 times.

Speaking of the nurse, Friday another teacher comes into my room telling me that a student passed out in the hallway. We call the nurse, and no one answers, so I leave the teacher with my class and run down to the nurses' station (not a short little jaunt mind you. Our school is big). No one is there but students who tell me that the nurses didn't come in today. That means that the RN and the RN aide just decided not to come in that day, and no one was there to cover for them. I tell an AP, who gets on the walkie talkie to get the school's trainer to come help, and then yells at me for not telling her exactly what room number the kid was in front of. I told her the 400 hall, but that wasn't good enough. Plus, I'm teaching a fucking class, not monitoring the hallways. By the time we got back, the kid had gotten up and wandered off, and the aide left with him said, "Well, he felt better." So the AP said, "Well, that was a waste of time."

UM HELLO?? Kid passes out and gets up and you don't see the need to find out where he went?

I work in hell.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Inservice tomorrow. Yippee!

ROARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

The title is my spelling of the scream at the beginning of Sick of Life by Godsmack. And that, my fellow blog readers, is a one word summary of my day. Strap yourself in for another Cranky ROARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

My day in bullets, shortened bc my roarrrrghs take too long to download:

• Coffee at work has been changed to decaf secretly for 2 weeks. Found out when they announced that coffee is a drug. [note: they've already limited the entire faculty to one shared pot of coffee a day--now it's one shared decaf pot]
• Walked in late bc my car is being fixed in the auto shop, and I had to drop off keys and talk to head mechanic. I don't have a first period, but they frown upon us not getting there early anyway. Was glared at by principal, who knows better than to confront me.
• 3rd period: students filing into class; bell hasn't yet rung. student asks me if she can run down to the counselor's office to drop something off. I say yes. She leaves and comes back right after tardy bell rings (no more than a min). I hear yelling in the hall. Think it's a fight. Student leans head in, "um, ms Corson, can you help here?" Prepped to break up a fight. Nope. It's a fellow teacher screaming at my student to follow him to the office. I speak up: "It's ok. I gave her permission to go. She doesn't need to go to the tardy room" "She's not going to the tardy room. She's going directly to the office." [he grabs her arm]. I say, "No, she had permission. She's not going anywhere but in my class." [mind you, this is all being said right in front of my open door, so all the students can hear and see]. He says, "She doesn't have an admit." I look at her, "Where's the hall pass." She forgot to take it. I said, "Well, it doesn't matter. I gave her permission to go, so everything's fine." "IT'S NOT FINE. AND WE SHOULD START THINKIKNG ABOUT USING OUR HALL PASSES FROM NOW ON FOR OUR STUDENTS, SHOULDN'T WE, HMMMM?"
• K, that was it. I can take a lot from people, but never do I allow someone to undermine my authority in front of my students and speak to me in the royal we by doing so. I told the student to go inside, start the video for my class, and walk out, shutting the door. I call after him, and he refuses to turn his bitch ass around. Another teacher is in the hall and heard the commotion: "OMG, what the hell was that? He was so loud!" So I explain the situation, and as I do, this fucking bitch whom I can only describe as a female Vern from Stand byMe (corpulent and tries to fit in with the cool stripys) stands at the end of the hall and eavesdrops with mouth agog. She runs off like a cartoon hippo in Fantasia and pulls the coworker over. At this point, I am talking about something unrelated, purposefully, to the other teacher in the hall, and we both listen to their conversation. Verngirl is telling PsychoCoworker that I am angry, and he goes off about me and my teaching style--that I teach literature in class and not TAKS and that I am not teaching math or science right now, when I know perfectly well that it is my job to do so.
• 4th period: A kid comes into my class, former student, during lunch and tells me, coincidentally, that she has PsychoCoworker for English this year and is pissed at him bc he gave her an F on a project. I asked her what the project was, and she said that she had to make a TAKS poster with "parallelograms and rhombuses and other shit on it" and that she "didn't do it right."
• 5th period: email comes out from Asst Principal: "As you may have noticed today, at the beginning of 3rd period, we made tardy sweeps on the 4 main wings of the building. This is something that we are looking to do more regular for multiple reasons. Please be in the hallways and close your door when the tardy bell rings, also don’t allow anyone out of your room for the first 5-10 mins even with a hall pass. This helps the sweepers in sweeping the hallways." [would've been nice to have had this prior to the sweep]. PsychoCwkr whined to AP.
• 6th period: Another coworker comes in crying bc Vern told everyone that she was having an affair with some guy at work who is always in her 5th period class. Cwkr is engaged and is teaching a coteach class, which means that another teacher is in there with her 5th period teaching.
• 7th period: Student comes in my class: "Ms. Corson, are they sweeping the halls because you got yelled at this morning by that bald man with a loud, squeaky voice?" Turns out, she was in the hallway, along with several other students of mine, while the confrontation went on.
• class tonight: I've already finished my big project for next week, but now I have to completely redo it because she decided to give us "the rubric we discussed last week in class." Um...no, this was an entirely new rubric, and we all stared at her in horror. Most of us have to completely redo our projects even though we spend 3 hours last week discussing exactly what would be needed on the project. I'm not redoing it. Fuck it. I don't need this class anyway since i have a new fucking job next year! Whoooooooo!

That's it. Now I'm drinking a homemade raspberry lemondrop and I'm about to watch a feel good movie--maybe Breakfast at Tiffany's; maybe Serendipity; maybe caddyshack; or maybe office space to get ideas for a new screenplay, Teacherspace.

My own version of Groundhog's day

Well, it's official. I've been here two years now. Tuesday marks the 2 year anniversary that I started my descent from Chicago into Texas, crying the entire bloody way while Edgy tried to console me that Texas would be ok and that I could always visit Chicago.

Yesterday marks the day that I woke up in Arkansas and thought, "It's not too late. I can turn back." But I didn't. I drove right on into Helltown during the middle of the superbowl (which was in Houston that year).

Today, though, marks the day that I, dressed as a couch because my clothes were all covered in wine that exploded from the freezing temps in my car, started work at HCC, met TwoShirts and Glinda (the only plus), and started a life of hell that seems to replay itself every fucking day that I awaken to the sound of ImaTool and Doofus in the morning, "It's a wonderful morning to be alive," and drive off to yet another job that sucks the marrow from my bones.

Now, to celebrate, I plan to go to bed, wake up tomorrow to ImaTool and Doofus, hopefully see my fucking shadow and crawl back in my little hole to hibernate for 6 more weeks. By that time, it will be Spring Break.

Cheers!

Part 2

I was going to write part 2 later, but I'm too grumpy to wait.

Today's highlights:

• Leave house at 6:40 to get to work by 7:15 for meeting.
• Late to meeting--wreck on 288
• walk in meeting just in time to hear Stripy (named such because her hair looks like a dirty zebra's underbelly) bitching about me and about how she's going to turn me in to the prinicpals because i'm late all the time
• smile at Stripy with a smile that only a Scorpio can give. If you don't know that smile, heh heh, you will
• listen to her read from an email that she sent us previously (and that we responded to) and to her requesting that we respond again.
• meeting over by 7:30. Why did we have to be there so early?
• go down to get coffee. We only get 1 cup per teacher per day, that is if we can because they only brew one pot a day for the entire faculty (167); someone always has to make a comment about how coffee is a drug and that i should get off drugs; today, someone made that comment and offered me a free sample of Spark, a "product' she sells that will enhance my brain capability and energy level [Read: Amway for health fanatics]
• Consistent emails all day from salesteacher asking how I feel after taking the product. I didn't take it.
• go to teacher restroom--ongoing fight about how these goodies think that i'm an asshole for not pumping the towels out for the next person who might come in. Who wants a stale, germ infested towel?--towels are pumped down again despite the fact that yesterday, someone crammed the whole thing down the toilet in rebellion. There's a tip jar for the custodians now. What are we in, the fucking George V in Paris? From what I hear, the custodians make more than I do. Granted, they clean up shit, but i"m still not tipping them. Call me a bitch. I'm tired of tipping, especially for powdered large grained soap and brown paper towels.
• lunch--talked to a colleague about class last night--private conversation. An eavesdropping colleague screams out, "Do you realize that you've complained for the entire lunch period? We all can find something positive to say. I mean at least you aren't that person on TV last night whose skin is falling off." WTF? Do you realize I wasn't fucking talking to you, fuckmonkey?
• Ran into someone in the hall--"How are you?" "Fine." She says, "just fine? It's a "blessed" day." What the fuck is this with the word blessed? I get this shit on emails with little butterflies and happy music and threats that if I don't send on the happy blessed prayer, my ass will fall off and my family will grow mustaches on their inner thighs. I said, well how are you? She said, "Oh, blessed. so so blessed." Yeah, well I'm fanfuckingtastic.
• get back to computer with another email from the salesteacher and a second one from another salesteacher who guilted me into buying some stupid ring for 14 dollars. Jesus. What the fuck is with these people? This particular person sells mary kay, premier jewelry, candlefucktastic, and some other tupperware thing. I've said no so many times that she looked like she was going to cry as she sheepishly asked me. I fucking bought a ring. DO I FUCKING WEAR JEWELRY? NOOOOOO!
• I don't even know what else happened, but it all added up to the fact that i hate perky people, and I have to wonder if they are actually happy or just vapid people who actually read these little pamphlets PISD gives us from the National Emergency Association (or something like that) about how to deal with stress that tells you to pretend that you are happy so that your synapses really believe it.

Oh, and an addendum to part 1, I forgot to mention that the woman, an African American, spoke 1/2 the time in Spanish without translation because she thinks that we need to get used to a more bilingual education atmosphere. This elicited whispers throughout from Pasty and her buddies, "Whut did she sayuh?" Strangely enough, I understood her. I didn't think I learned that much from living in Mexico for a summer.

lugubrious part 1

Today I live up to my blog's name. I am lugubrious.

It all started Wed when I found out that one of my classes for the job I hate requires me to do a group project for 20% of my grade. One of my group members is a 4th grade teacher. We're supposed to do a unit using a textbook and a novel for high school English. She wants to use a Beverly Cleary book.

The next heap of shit came yesterday in my other class for the job I hate. These classes are 3 hours long. Let me describe to you my 3 hour meeting:

• we began the class with having to give a commercial convincing other students to put us in their groups--no, first she elected this anorexic, mealymouthed, pasty little nothing with bruises and red scratches all over her neck to be the time keeper and to tell the teacher when it was time to go, but she's too shy to say anything, so we sit there overtime
• we then had to write a reflection of said commercial
• next we took a pretest. Mind you, she believes that students should never be left with nothing to do or they'll do things "of their own accord", and she wants to model this with us, so we are never left without something to do. So, we take the pretest--26 essay questions. Need I say more?
• then we had to write a reflection of said pretest, which she reminded us about saying, "You know what to do next, right?" In my reflection, I wrote that I couldn't write because my hand is tired.
• then she gave us the TEKS for grades 4-8 and 8-12 to analyze and highlight the domains that pertain to writing
• reflection time
• then she broke us up into groups--teachers and not teachers yet (3:10)
• teachers were to brainstorm questions; not teachers yet, answers to possible questions
• mock interview during which one of my former classmates from high school (he was a prick then and still a prick) answered an interview question about racial bias in the test curriculum: "I decline the position."
• reflections
• discussion of the lack of syllabus
• discussion of grades: we won't be getting any grades until after the course is over. we will turn our work in to the teacher in little color coded folders with our names on them, and we can "visit our work as often as [we'd] like so that [we] can make changes as we go along" and then she'll grade them all at the end.
• reflection about grades at 8:05
• mealymouth still sitting there looking uncomfortably at her watch, scratches growing redder
• homework assignment--5 page essay about our teaching philosophy
• reflection about essay assignment
• I walk out

They've got my ovaries in their hands and other snappy tunes

So we all know that I have to take these ridiculous education classes for the job that I hate that I'm going to quit. If I don't take them, I will be illegally hired and will owe somebody somewhere money for the entire year.

The total bill with $750 worth of fees for things that I won't use because I don't live on campus is about $2500. Now, I'm paying in installments of 3 so there's a $15 charge. I can live with that. What I can't handle is that to pay by credit card or check (and they won't take Visa or a Visa check card), I have to pay a 1.76% fee for EACH installment. It comes out to roughly $15 per installment. Therefore, I am paying $60 in fees for no good reason. I mean, who the fuck has $880 in cash lying around? Plus, I don't think they take cash, so they are just charging a manditory fee to everyone in the whole fucking school.

In addition to that, the books come out to $300. $2800 for 2 fucking piece of shit classes that I can't fucking stand.

Did I also mention that PISD took MLK day away from us because of Rita? WTF are they thinking? 1/2 the student body is boycotting (1/4 for good reason; the others just to skip). Oh, btw, the state of TX said that we didn't have to make up those days, but PISD feels it's important. AND they are talking about making students go back to school on Aug 3 next year with teachers having a week's worth of inservices beforehand. Freshman teachers have to go back a week earlier because they want the freshmen to come back to school a week early to learn the ropes and get ahead.

Oh, and did I mention that next year SpEd classes are no more? They are making all students mainstream and mandating that SpEd students take the TAKS exam with the other students, with teachers accountable for their scores. That's got the whole teaching body in an uproar.

In the news today, a huge discussion on the radio about HISD giving raises only to teachers whose students do well on the TAKS. The host says that it's only fair since corporations make their managers accountable for their employees' output. One statment to that: Corporations can fire their employees for being lazy little fuckers with no motivation except to kill each other and snort sudafed. They also have drug testing, which can result in firing. What do we have?

well, I have to now workout because I've eaten 200 million Victorian Tea Cookies (class project and they all stole the recipe from one person and made the same damn thing). Then I have to go to a birthday party which i would rant about but it would be better read after the fact. plus, the big headed baby, as fucking usual, is crying her big bulging eyes out, and I can't think. Glinda has the photo. I"m too guilty to upload it. I feel like I'll become impregnated with some parasitic big headed freakshow as karmic bitchslapping.

Could I BE more caustic?

Tournament of Bozos

Had to go back to PISD today. I'm more lugubrious than ever. Tomorrow the kids are back. God help me.

Here are the highlights from today so that you may bask in my misery:

• Faculty meeting at 7 in the school cafeteria, complete with stale bagels and fat free cream cheese.
• Coffee at said meeting served in bathroom gargling cups, you know what I mean?
• 10 minutes of "praises and prayer requests," which boils down to 10 minutes of people saying they are pregnant (that goes under praises, though I would put it under the latter). I quit drinking the coffee, in case the water is contaminated.
• Line of the day: "The TAKS test is like the Rose Bowl of the high school world. It's important that we get our kids as prepared as possible. English folks, your test comes in February, so you should've already been prepping them as much as possible, and remember that your time isn't over after Feb. You'll then need to prep them for the other subject tests in April." So basically, after I finish teaching them how to take the innane English portion of the test, I will need to teach them science, history, and math, as well. Yeah, that's why I got my master's degree in LITERATURE AND CREATIVE WRITING!!!
• The Chancery grading system. Our grades were due at 2 today, but the system was so overloaded (it's internet based) that it took 45 minutes to load each class. Then, they announced at 11 that Chancery would be completely down from 11-2 but that grades would be due at 2. [???????]
• reminder that we might want to "play around" with the computations a little bit to make sure that our failure rates were low.
• Leaving in the middle of the workday to go home without permission--PRICELESS

Education classes

I just signed up for $1800.00 worth of education classes today to keep my job for this year. I'm taking 4 grueling months of Reading in Middle and Secondary schools and Teaching composition in Middle and Secondary schools.

Pushing the little red, "CHARGE ME LOTS OF MONEY" button for classes I don't want to take in a job I hate has prompted me to begin revamping my CV. I'm off for 2 weeks, so I should have plenty of time to do so.

[Side note: It's really not a good idea to put faculty pictures on websites. I just looked at my comp prof, and she looks mean as hell].

Can't even check my PISDucts because of PISD

So the doc wants me to have a CT scan to check on the status of all the inner kidney workings. I tell him, fine if it doesn't cost too much. CT place calls me and says that all I need to do is pay the rest of my deductible, which at this point is about 300. I think it's not too shabby, so I go ahead and schedule. Then a thought occurs to me that perhaps I shouldn't trust this woman, so I call my insurance. BINGO! I have to pay the deductible AND 20% of the remaining balance. I DON'T THINK SO! So I cancelled. The woman at the CT place actually said, "I am so sorry. I wish that there was something that we could do. People have to cancel all the time, and it kills me that they put their health on hold because of insurance."

While I've got her on the phone, I check about a well woman exam. The exam is not covered, but the pap smear and mammogram are...huh? Anyway, I tell her that I can't have a mammogram because my breasts are too dense (I'm serious. Mom has the same prob. We're small but perky). They always have to give me an ultrasound. She says, "Oh, then that's not covered. Only the mammogram is." I said, "So I'm being discriminated against because I have dense breasts? I can't have the mammogram. The ultrasound should be a substitute." She said that they will only pay for the mammogram because the "ultrasound has a different code." Ok, is it just me, or does that answer not seem even remotely logical? I mean, I know that in the innerworkings of the insurance world, it is logical, but just read the sentence as it stands, and tell me if it even makes sense? If they had said, "We can't pay for an ultrasound because it is more expensive and we're cheap bastards," I would've thought that it was a logical answer, but a different code? So change the fucking code to a payable one then.

I have to get the thing done, though, because I've got another tumor, and I've waited a year to have it looked at because I'm still paying an $8,000 bill for the last tumor I had removed. They weren't cancerous, but the doc wanted to remove them just in case. I worry, too, that i'm going to have to pay the whole thing anyway because they'll claim pre-existing just like they did the time before when I got stuck with 8k. Fucking system.

Well, off to tell 11 of my students that they plagiarized (calculated wrong yesterday, Glinda. The other 5 were some of my high schoolers). Wish me luck!

Bob and Bob are coming to PISD

PISD has decided to spend more of our tax dollars (well, not mine, I guess) to invite the prestigious firm of Bob and Bob to do a little house cleaning. Actually, they've already done their initial investigations, and we found out the results in our meeting today:

• The motto is "Less Rigor; More Relevance"
• Elementary schools at PISD are providing too much rigor. They should let the kids color more and express themselves creatively. Leave reading and writing to the middle schools.
• Middle schools have too little rigor. They are focusing too much on playtime in the classroom and not enough on teaching fundamentals. Good failure rate, though--0%!
• High schools--the failure rate is too high, especially at Dobie (my school) in the English department (mine, too) and particularly among Freshmen (oops, my fault, as well). Our failure rate of fish is 30%
• Relevance is only relevant (ha) when one takes into consideration the generation being studied. This generation, for instance, has been raised on video games and television. Therefore, we must change our stance in the classroom.
• This generation only has a 30 second attention span for media. When using video technology, show it only at 30 second intervals with a break in between to assess knowledge and comprehension. This means that if I'm showing a documentary on Shakespeare, for example, I need to stop the dvd every 30 seconds to ask the kids questions.
• Furthermore, only teach for 7 minutes at a time. The kids (high school included) can only hold 7 minutes of information, so you need to give their minds a break after 7 minutes. Therefore, if you are showing a video, show it in 30 second intervals for 7 minutes and then stop for awhile to let their brains relax. "7 is the magic number." (I thought 3 was the magic number!)
• Information in the classroom must be relevant to the generation. If it is too old, throw it out.

So here's my take on this. I agree that we can't keep teaching the same old way--pointer in one hand, chalk in another. I also agree that kids need a change up in routine--whiteboards, video, groupwork, powerpoint, etc. I even took a class in technology so that I could use the latest tech in the classroom (which they won't let me use because they say it doesn't have any educational value. Maybe bob and bob will change that). I also think that you need to make the work accessible and relevant to kids. Make the stories come alive for them. Connect it to real life. Have them connect it to their lives or to something on TV/Movies.

What I don't understand is this magic number bullshit. If they only have 30 second attention spans for media, why is it, then that they stay glued to a hip hop video from start to finish? It is longer than 30 seconds. Furthermore, if the timeframe is correct, then why do we think it is a good thing? Why don't we teach our kids to have longer attention spans. Think in the long term here, folks. How many corporate meetings do you know of that last for 30 seconds or 7 minutes and then take a break? College classes? SAT tests? Seriously, we're doing them a disservice here.

I left PBS right at the time when they were talking about revamping Sesame Street. CTW did the same bob and bob survey and found out that preschoolers through 1st graders (not highschoolers, you notice) have 30 second attn spans, so they drew out plans to make 30 second segments on SS like Elmo's world and Cookie's world or whatever and take out the ongoing, segmented story. They felt that kids wouldn't be able to remember the story from start to finish because there were too many interruptions. Isn't that the point--to test their memory, to strengthen it? Shouldn't a 3-6 year old learn to follow a story from start to finish even if there is a break between? If you take it out, they will never learn. More alarming, this CTW study was done 6 years ago, so those kids are now 9 to12 and essentially the beginning ages that they are studying in the PISD Bob and Bob survey. Has the new SS system helped or hurt?

Of course the biggest Bob and Bob complaint is our practice TAKS scores. They're upset that we're giving them timed tests in the classroom since TAKS is not timed; kids can take as long as they want. Having observed classes, they find that too much emphasis is given to teaching research, grammar, novels, and poetry, since none of those things appear on the TAKS. Our one goal is to get those scores up, and for that reason, all freshmen teachers are going to be required to start teaching earlier in the summer (with no extra pay) in order to get these kids TAKS ready, at 7 minute intervals while having fun with little rigor.

Blaaaaaaaaah

PISD skipped a groove again

HRguy's secretary checked in on me today to see if I had my fingerprints done for my certification that I don't even want. I told her that I had just received my packet and that I needed to go to the police station to get them done. She said, "Oh, well just come over to the administration building (about 11 miles away in the heart of Pasadena). make sure you come before 3:30."

Well, we get out at 3:15 and we only have one exit from the parking lot of 2 different schools, so given that it is at least a 20 minute drive sans traffic, that's not going to work. She says, "Oh, just come over on your lunch hour."

Um...lunch hour? Lunch hour? She's in charge of hiring teachers, and she doesn't know that teachers only get 2o minutes for lunch (well ten if you count that we have to wait for the halls to clear before we go).

I tell her this, and she says, "Oh, well sneak out early then." Ok, I'll leave a class of 15 year old delinquents by themselves. That's a good idea.

what a moron.

PISD would never do anything to jeopardize their good name...

or would they? Sad story about a little 9 year old girl who was struck by a bus on her first day walking by herself to school. Broke my heart, especially since a friend of mine was her teacher.
Read on, though, to see the second charge brought against my friend, the HRguy.

To avoid slander, he has since been found "not guilty," but his court date was on the day that I went in to have my big meeting. Unaware of any of this, I remarked offhand that I knew that they just wanted to get their records straight to avoid any illegal paperwork. Heh. Little did I know.

PISD has been to the gym

...and is still flexing its muscles.

The upshot is that I have to get my fingerprints done for $500 to renew my permit. Secondly, I have to convince UH to grant me an "exception" and count that class for one of my deficiency plan classes. If UH refuses, HRguy says, "We'll just have to see if I decide to let it slide." If they agree to grant the exception, I will need to be accepted to Region 4's alternative program, which is basically "certification on speed." I have no other choices in certification, so this is my last chance. The cost is $10k, garnished from my wages--5k for the classes and 5k to pay for the mentor who stands over me everyday in class next year. This doesn't count the cost of the test I have to take. I've already applied, so we'll see. When I asked HRguy what happens if I don't get into the program, worst case scenario, he said, "Well, I would just have to review your case and make a decision at that time as to what to do and whether I'm going to let you slide." That's his answer for everything. So basically, it boils down to HR guy has my ovaries in his hands, and he wants me to know it. They were sweet as sucralose in the meeting because my boss was present. It was disgusting. I can't even think about how I have to spend $10,500 on something I don't even want to do, but I'm stuck now.

On the plus side, the Who will direct your life story test says that Woody Allen will direct mine, so I guess that counts for something.

I'm not alone

I just talked with a fellow colleague. She, apparently, went through almost an identical process this summer. She interviewed with the principal, was "hired" and then went to the admin bldg to put in an application. She was a long term sub at Dobie, so the interview process was just a formality. Turns out that the Hr director told her, on her first day, that she was fired because she filled out an application after she interviewed. She was supposed to have done the reverse. The principal goes down to the admin bldg and straightens it all out, so she kept her job.

Two months later, they send her an email that she needs to come to a meeting. In the meeting she is told that she is fired for not going to SBEC and getting fingerprints done. Apparently, the fingerprinting process goes like this: you pay $300 for a fingerprinting packet to be sent to you. The packet outlines the reasons for fingerprinting and gives you a piece of paper to take to Austin. You drive to Austin during business hours on a weekday, turn in the piece of paper, and pay an additional $100 to get the fingerprints actually done. Apparently, the police smudged her fingerprints during the process, and because they had to redo them, she had to pay another $100. Unbelievable.

The entire process of becoming a teacher allows me to realize why Texas ranks so low in almost every aspect of education (except population). What rational human being would want to go through this ridiculous process? I think I may turn in my resignation letter on Monday and leave mid semester, despite the burned bridge.

Don't Cry for me, Pasadena

I have much emotion concerning this story, so I'm not sure how well I am going to relay this. I feel beaten physically and emotionally from this job, and I know that, Scorpio that I am, I tend to play up the drama in a story, but I embroider nothing here.

The upshot is that apparently I took the wrong class this summer for my permit. I took a doctoral level class instead of an undergrad level. Truth is, after I quit PISD last year, I threw away my deficiency plan (see, I was trying to toss out things I didn't need and to quit being such a pack rat. See where it got me!). Therefore, when I reupped my contract with PISD, I had to quickly register for some classes. Due to late registration, there were "slim pickins," so I picked the two that I remembered by name as being on the plan. I didn't think about the numbers.

That said, my principal, a man of much integrity, sees me in the hall and says, "Hey Kim, some guy from HR wants to talk to you about your certification stuff." I must've shown my emotion on my face because he added, "I know. You gave them everything. This is just what they do to get back at me." Apparently, they hate him because he bends the rules, so I'm caught in the middle of a war (See previous post--Pissed at Pisd).

After much research and discovery of nepotism, I find the correct person in HR and send him an email. He writes back that he wants to have a meeting with me on Monday (this was last Friday). I've, thus, spent the week trying to figure out what the meeting was about. HRguy wont tell me, so after much pleading and badgering by my principal, HRguy sends his secretary, The VapidWonder, to write me an email. I've had a run in already with VW, and she fears me, so you can imagine how this is going.

She sends me an email telling me about the class, stating that i needed to have gotten permission to take a higher level class. She also stated that my emergency permit has not been issued because I never got my fingerprinting done with SBEC. She then states that I must be enrolled at UH this semester, retaking the class that I screwed up. She ends with this insightful sentence: "The problem, your original permit has not been issued therefore, we should not have renewed your permit until you had the above issues taken care of."

I write her back several emails saying that I spoke with the people at UH and that in reality, I have until 2007 to finish my certification, whereas PISD is only giving me until the end of the year (something they say is per the state of TX). UH says that PISD is wrong about the TX thing but that they have the right to go against the state and provide their own timeline (what's the point of the state?). I end that letter with a question about what my next step should be.

She writes back the same email as before. I write back saying that I know that I screwed up and took the wrong course, but that's water under the bridge, so what's my next step. She writes back with the same email, copying everyone in the damn district. This inane process continues for several emails. Finally, I write a one page email (linked later) about how I apologize for being new to public education and not knowing the ropes. I feel like i'm blindly going through this process, and my suggestion is that they give all new employees a checklist of some sort so that we know what needs to be done. Then I mention that I have no clue as to what the SBEC is (turns out its the State Board of Education) and that I didn't know I needed to get any fingerprinting done with them. I've had it done with PISD and Houston.

I said that I wasn't enrolled at UH presently because I didn't know I took the wrong class; therefore, it was virtually impossible to anticipate that I would need to retake the lower level class. Now, the semester is at midterm. There's no point. Plus, I have an application in progress at Region IV where I can get alternatively certified in a semster.

I end the email as before with the question, "So where are we then? I'm at a loss as to what to do with this, and I'd like to know what this means in terms of my position." I also state that I am in awe of the red tape that is involved in teaching at a Texas public school and that I find it sad that such bureaucracy is keeping me from doing that I believe is my most important function, providing a creative, technologically savvy, sound educational experience for my students. Taking me out of classes and prep time for circular conversations seems fruitless. My final sentence is that "I am gradually losing faith in the educational system of Texas" and that " a large part of me wants to withdraw my application from Region IV." More to come.

What Would Ellen Ripley Do?

By far the worst prose I have ever graded-- One of my 11th grade students was supposed to write a myth. She writes of a British boy who meets a Cherokee boy in the woods, to whom she refers as "Indian." She further writes that the British boy gives the following salutation: "I am a human from Britain. I come in peace." Good lord. I can't live here, much less teach here, anymore.

Pushin dem childrens raht on ahead

Been offline for awhile and can't access Blogger from work (you've heard enough about that). Anyway, latest bitch about pisd is the announcement given in today's "9th grade expectation graduation initiative meeting." The stats they gave us in the meeting show that not one 8th grader in the district failed last year. They passed every single one of them to cook the books and look good for NCLB. A teacher mentioned that she used to work at one of the middle schools in the district and that everytime a teacher failed a student (6-8th graders), he/she would have to fill out an IEP (indiv educ plan) on that student and discuss ways that the teacher could've improved teaching in order to make that student pass. This doesn't sound bad in theory, but the directive was given in such a way that it intimidated the teachers. Teachers who had to fill out IEPs were looked upon as poor teachers, so everyone would just cook the gradebooks. This explains why at least 2 students in each of my classes can't read at all and why none of them can recognize a noun. It also explains why the students have no initiative or desire to try. One of them said today that 40s and 70s are the same thing, so why bother? NOT IN MY CLASS! :o)

This whole Katrina thing has got me down, and I think I'm not alone. Morale is very low at work, and everyone I talk to says that they are having sleep problems and are overwhelmed and stressed more than usual for no reason. There's a strange energy in the air everywhere, it seems. Am I nuts?