Cranky is sleepy

ah, to be like a kid again. Wow. I spent the whole day riding rollercoasters and drinking icees and walking all over the park and I'm freaking exhausted.

Sad to say, though, everything last night was, today wasn't. It was truly an anticlimatic trip to Astroworld, namely because they were at half staff, so all the refreshment stands were closed, as were half of the rides. We were so dehydrated by the end of the day. Plus, all of the souvenirs were goofy little "i'm huggable" and "cool kitty" shirts--none of them had Astroworld on them. The stores were jam packed with merchandise, but there was absolutely nothing that said Astroworld, save the free maps. I took those. I also thought they might do a fireworks tribute, but all we got was Boyz 2 Men blaring on the speakers and a bunch of cell phones in the air, and the announcement that they are not moving the Texas Cyclone (Texas' first wooden roller coaster). Instead they are blowing it up. Of course, why would fucking Texas save a relic when they could drink beer, eat beef, and blow it up? Jesus.

That news actually hit me in the stomach like a fist. It was so tough walking across on the freeway bridge for the last time, with no hand stamp to come back in. They were already tearing stuff down while we were there. I had a lump in my throat.

I know that I really need to leave Texas because Astroworld was the last remaining place from my childhood. Everything else has been blown up with beer and bbq. When I found out about the TX Cyclone, I went with several others and carved my name into the wood with the words, "I'll miss you."

I know that the majority of the people who read this blog are not from Houston, so you can't even understand why I'm so glum, but well, I don't even need to justify it really. Suffice it to say that from the age of 10-15, I spent nearly everyday of the summer in that park from 10-midnight. Anyway, we walked out of the park, past the gravestones, and it really felt like a funeral. We'll never see Astroworld again. It's just sad.

Tomorrow, I'll write the highlights from yesterday and today, but for now, I just feel like taking a long hot shower and hitting the rack.

When you wish upon a star...

Wow. Tonight was undoubtedly the coolest night of my life. I mean, I've hung out with movie stars and music stars in the greenroom at PBS. I even rode on an airplane with George S, but tonight was the coolest.

Edgy used to work for Astroworld, so we got an invite to the reunion bash tonight before they tear it down for good tomorrow. They closed the park at 6, and we got all access passes to walk around the park after dark. It was like a dream. We got fabulous pictures, and I even made the GM cry with my story about meeting Edgy there when we were 12 and 13.

Highlights will come tomorrow when I get back from using our free tickets to attend the last day at Astroworld.

God I'm gonna miss that place.

I like Latex and the Astros

The party at the Magnolia room was fun and the venue phenomenal. I love that place. Edgy and I were exhausted, though, and E even almost fell asleep on the bench. This whole mamaedgy thing is killing us. she's doing better, though, so hopefully, she'll be out of there. I'm just about sick of the hospital. I can't imagine how she feels.

My only complaint about latex is that after you take the gloves off of your hand, your skin, hair and everything else feels like you spent 8 weeks in the desert sun. Ugh. Taking a shower was horrible. I compulsively started exfoliating.

Finally, to retort to all of those Astros haters and even the fair weather fans: I say, let's hear it for the boys. At least we put up enough of a fight to send them into extra innings. I'm proud of them. Go 'Stros. Props to Chitown, though, my real hometown. I wish I was still living there to celebrate with them. If we had to lose to someone, I'm glad it was to the Great Onion and Windy City. Maybe by this time next year...

Whatever happened to the Mertzes and the Ricardos?

I hate yuppies. I really do, and Texas yuppies are the worst. Mealymouthed mammaboy fuckwits driving a 30k beamer and pretending it's 60 and their anorexic creditcard addict soccermom desperate housewives carting around their anemic pasty faced little bastard children whom they dress up like Madame Alexander dolls with long sleeves and plaid miniskirts in the middle of 103 degree summer--the worst part being that they are from Texas so when they come over to bitch you out, they do it in the little yellow package of sweetness. Fuckers.

So the story actually begins months ago upon our move in when we put our boxes out for heavy trash but due to a holiday we missed a day. A lady came by and asked if she could have our boxes. I told her yes, please do. Not a second passed when our nosy ass downstairs neighbor who looks like Mama Cass if she tried to go Visible Changes, pokes her head and her big headed baby's melon out to scream, "Yes, please take it. I'm sick of advertising that we have white trash moving in." Well, I retorted with a big fat killer party with kareoke until 3 am, so round 1 was over.

Since then she's tried to get the whole neighborhood to shun the new white trash neighbors. Everytime they're out on their lawn with their little ashen children jumping on stacked up lawn furniture until it falls (a favorite to do on Saturday mornings in their little minidresses while the parents look on), they make comments about us. I'm always walking by and inevitably, I hear, "Shhh...speak of the devil," and then they all grin their little Stepford smiles and say, "hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii." Gag. And I can't tell you how many times she says, "You're a teacher, right? Hmmm...isn't that nice." I mean, she's in retail and he's a restaurant manager, isn't that nice? Who the fuck cares?

It got so bad that when I saw the pallid child next door (not the Mamma cass house but the one owned by a mommasboy and an anorexic bitch) in her Halloween costume and said, "oh, are you sleeping beauty?" the bitch said, "Uh...god, she's Cinderella, please" and picked her up and took her inside.

now the preface for the next story. Our lease prohibits us from using both the garage (which is falling down anyway) and the driveway. we are on street parkers on a street with not much parking, plus there's a fire hydrant right in front of our house.

So tonight, mommasboy comes over and requests that Edgy not park in his guest parking area. Stunned, having just come home from seeing his mom in CCU, he looks at him and says, "Guest parking?" The guy proceeds to tell him that the space in front of his house is reserved for his guest parking and he would like E to move his car so that he can park his car there. Edge neglects to say, "Well, if it is guest parking, then why do you want your own car there," which is what I would've said, but I digress.

he tells E that he should park in the space in front of my car. E explains that he doesn't because there's a fire hydrant there. Mammasboy says, "So?" So, E educates clueless about how the law prohibits one to park in front of a firehydrant. The guy retorts, "Why is that? They park in the street anyway. So park in front of someone else's house then" Futile argument, so E, tired at this point, says, "Would you like me to move it now?" Guy says, "No, I guess I can park in my driveway tonight, but from now on I want you to park somewhere else. We have guests from time to time, and the only other parking space open is the one across the street from my house, and I don't want to have to walk that far. I do own, you know, not rent. " Why in the hell E didn't tell the guy that the street is public, I don't know, but I swear to god the pallid no hair having whiny ass little jagoff had better not ever see me bc I'll tear him a new one for his mother to wipe.

Thing is, when E came home his wife was pulling into her 2 car GARAGE and glared at E. E waved and said hi and she, like she always does, stuck her nose up in the air and ran inside. Not 10 minutes later, at 8:40, btw, he comes crawling over. Who does that?

Edge of my seat

Well, waiting to hear back from Mamaedgy. Apparently, her artery collapsed, so they've got a stint in and have her catheterized. They can't tell if the area around the artery atrophied or died, but it did one or the other. They take the catheter out tomorrow, so she can't move her legs for 7 hours. Lots of mystery from the docs. They won't tell much, and Edgy and sisedge don't know the right questions to ask.

Other seats to edge on...Astros have to win. Please, all you Astros haters out there, please root for us to at least win this one game. I can't handle a sweep. Hey, at least if they win, you'll have another game to hate on them.

Holy Crap. I'm a genius.

Look Glinda, I added to my sidebar. It's on the bottom currently because of my ZZZ comment. 'S ok. I like the ZZZ.

So I'm sittin' at home today. Called in sick. Didn't feel like administering another practice TAKS test. A monkey could do that job, so I'll show up when I'm actually allowed to teach something to the future leaders of America.

Should be grading papers, but instead I slept until 10, padded around my freezing apartment for awhile, and am now going to copy a list from Glinda's new blogconvert in order to procrastinate.

I WANT: to get a new job and move from Houston
I HAVE: a post migraine buzz
I WISH: i could get the job at WTTW
I HATE: people who judge others so much that they forget to look inward
I MISS: Long Grove in the fall
I FEAR: roaches and loss
I HEAR: the buzz of Edgy's homemade computer. It's so loud!
I WONDER: "if i am where i'm meant to be" (kygrrlinco).
I REGRET: all the times I changed my mind in order to pacify someone
LOVE: such a complex word
I ALWAYS: think I'm fat when I'm stressed (lately I think I'm morbidly obese)
I AM NOT: a classy broad, though I'd like to be
I DANCE: because I can't keep from it
I SING: with my soul, even if it's kareoke
I CRY: as a last resort
I AM NOT ALWAYS: cranky
I WRITE: all the time
I WON: a bunch of nerdy contests and dance trophies when I was little. OH, and I won $1 in a box of cheerios one time
I LOST: my mom's spoon ring at a club in Galveston
I CONFUSE: Glenn Close and that other woman who looks like her
I NEED: to grade papers
I SHOULD: be grading papers

Three things you are often complimented for: my boobs, my smile, my creativity
Three things you get embarrassed by: other people's embarrassment, using incorrect grammar, hurting someone unintentionally
What upsets you: what's going on in our government right now, PISD, seeing Edgy worried
You keep a diary: when I remember
You like to cook: I plan out meals monthly (I'm a dork)
You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: yes, and being a Scorpio, I won't
You're in love: yes
You set your watch a few minutes ahead: nope. I hate that.
You bite your fingernails: no, can't you tell?
You believe in love: wholeheartedly

Who is...?
The prettiest person you know: my friend, Phebes, because she doesn't know it
The person that knows the most about you: Edgy
Most Boring Teacher: Mr Sanford (sandman)
What is...
Your best physical feature: my eyes
Do You...?
Take a shower every day: yes
Think you know you've been in love: yes.
Want to get married: yes.
Have any tattoos/where: none
Piercings/where: two in left ear, one in right
Get motion sickness: sometime
Think you're a health freak: heh heh
Get along with your parents: sometimes
Which one...John Lennon or Paul McCartney? don't make me choose
Moulin Rouge or Grease? MR, sorry
West Side Story or Chicago? Chicago
Colin Farrel or Orlando Bloom? neither; Bloom's a better actor
“Jailhouse Rock” or “Hound Dog” by Elvis? Elvis sucks
Penelope Cruz or Angelina Jolie? Angelina
Ashley Judd or Reese Witherspoon? Reese seems less fake
Ving Rhames or Samuel L. Jackson? SLJ
Outkast or Eminem? Radd McFladd
Jack London or Ernest Hemingway? Hemingway, hands down. London makes me want to jump off a cliff
Stephen King or Dean Koontz? stephen king
Queen Latifah or Jada Pinkett Smith? Queen Latifah :o)
Natural Hair Color:was blonde growing up but age has brought out the copper
Current Hair Color: same; I don't do dye
Eye Color: blue/green depending on mood
Birthplace: is not my fault
Favorites--Number: 33
Color: indigo
Day: today because I'm not at work
Month: Nov
Food: mmm...food
Season: autumn
Drink: changes
Vegetables: broc
Preferences:Cuddle or Make Out: depends on my mood.

Ok can't do anymore. Lost it's fun way back. I'd rather grade papers. no offense to the originator of the list.

All stress and no play makes Cranky's brain hurt

Well, today was chaotic. I worked all day with a killer migraine. It was one of those pukey, sparkly, mind numbing, vision altering sort of migraines--the kind that make you feel like you just stepped off of a tilt a whirl after drinking and suddenly it's dusk. Anyone had one of those? I took 2 migraine pills to no avail, dealt with kids all day, and then came home to babysit my friend's two kids.

I love these kids, but man, babysitting with a migraine is not a good idea. the constant drone of "I don't want to eat that. I like this. I don't want to do my homework. I don't want my juice. Don't you have other juice? I want a Coke. Can I eat my candy instead? Where's the kitty? Can we watch a move? are we going to the children's museum? Can we go to mc Donalds? I don't like cheese. I learned Z today. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...la lal lalalalalalalalalalala! Damn, I thought I was going to full on pass out. I let them pick out a movie, only to notice later that it was the Simpsons Tree House of Horror DVD. I zoned out completely(trying to go to my happy place) before I heard, "Aunt Kim, why did their heads just come off?" Then the little one says, "Eat my shorts." I quickly pulled out an old Casper DVD.

I then hear the phone ring but can't find it because the little one was sitting on it. I hear her butt ringing but think it is my headache echoing the sound. anyway, the machine comes on and it's Edgy's mom saying in an upbeat tone, "Hey guys. It's Mom. Just thought I'd touch base with you and let you know how my day went. Catch ya later; bye." Knowing his mom, I called Edgy immediately, once I found the phone, and told him to call her back ASAP. Turns out, she was in the hospital with a heart "episode." Not sure what it's all about, but she'll be in the hospital for a couple of days for tests.

Anyway, at that point I've got kids asking me for things and cats screaming and my head pounding and I can't find a long sleeved shirt because I know I need one because it was cold in there last time and I just kept thinking Jesus I've got to get to the damn hospital. I couldn't even problem solve, which is not usually like me in a crisis. I'm usually the level headed one. I was like silly putty today. I'm on 3 migraine pills and some grease now, so I feel a little better. It's at the burning stage instead of the pukey one. I still can't think right, as you can tell by the fragments and bad punctuation on this blog entry.

So we'll visit mamaedgy tomorrow and find out what's up.

In other news, sad to read that Rosa Parks died and that Greenspan's reign has come to an end. What in the hell is going on in this country?

Ode in Stream of Consciousness and melodrama

Yesterday was my friend, Jeff's, wedding. I've been a bridesmaid 10 times and have attended numerous other weddings for friends, but yesterday's wedding really affected me. I've known Jeff since 6th grade. He was the first person I met in Jr Hi, which is significant because I had gone to a very small parochial school for elementary school. Getting to go to a public school with no uniforms and "evils" at every turn was a huge step for me, and Jeff provided not only a safe haven but introduced me to my closest set of friends, including Edgy.

We met in the parking lot of the intermediate school. He and some friends were playing basketball, and I, in my miniskirt and heels, asked if i could play, too. They were much bigger than I was, so to even up the odds, I proceeded to dig my stilleto into Jeff's foot, steal the ball, and make a layup. After that, I was welcomed into the circle, and we still hang out today.

That said, it was very emotional watching my first teen friend walk down the aisle in a tux. I felt like he should still be that little 13 year old in jeans, as should I. It was like a scene from a melodrama. Flashbulb memories filled my head: the day he confided in me that he had bought a diamond for his first girlfriend (it was literally a diamond, no setting); the time he crowned me with my beanie at the Thespian ceremony and presided over my initiation, despite the fact that we were on a choir trip at the time and had to do the initiate work on the sly; all the times we would go out to Hobby airport and play the guitar and sing the Beatles, Black Crowes, and Pink Floyd while watching the planes come in for a landing right over our heads; driving in the back of his boat of an Oldsmobile passing around a mannequin head, just so that we could say were were giving group head; losing my Rocky Horror virginity (for those of you who don't know, that means that it was my first time to see the show) to his lesbian friend, when they still actually had an auction (she bought me for two tampons and some Indie girl band CD) while he laughed his ass off at me jumping into cherry jello and then being licked all night by his friend who cooed "I love your cherry"; all the nights spent watching movies on a 6' X 8' projection screen with he and Edgy and the crew; drinking on top of his roof; many nights spent at the Kettle post concerts; the Paul McCartney concert, where I screamed nonstop as if I was possessed by a 1960's teenage girl and subsequently losing our car in the Astrodome parking lot; the Pink Floyd concert in NOLA (god what a time that was); the trip to Padre on Spring break where his Olds broke down, and we had to push it up a hill only to find out that we had no place to stay, so we took a bath in the Whataburger sink and slept on the beach, waking up to mosquito bites all over.

They zipped through my head like a whirlwind and then stopped as they pronounced he and his fiance man and wife. It was then that there was an eerie silence in my brain, and I suddenly realized that those memories, though fresh in my brain as if they were current, were just that--memories, and that Jeff, little Jeffy, was married, standing before his wife wearing a penguin suit that, like everything else he wears, didn't fit him just right. He looked like a kid in his father's clothes playing dress up with a friend, only this was real. Jeffy was married.

Then, the whirlwind came back, but this time in fast forward. I could see the passage of time ahead of me, as ephemeral as the past has been. Before long, all of the group will be married, including me, and for most of them, babies will come and will have babies, and you just can't stop it. Time just keeps going and doesn't wait for you to catch up.

Then I turned to look at Edgy, who was looking at me with a look of love that I've always wanted to see from a man, and I realized that I was all grown up. Just like that, and later, as Edgy leaped for the garter like it was the prized holy grail (a tradition I really find vile), I found myself running after him to cover him with glowing kisses.

I'm not sure why Jeff's wedding affected me more than others. All my girlfriends are married and popping out a third kid right now, and I was the one who always bumped the bouquet like it was a volleyball (another tradition I still find ridiculous). Maybe it's my age. Maybe it's because Jeff is my first guy friend to get married. I don't know, but it felt like a chapter in my life shut, no...more like a tome of my life, really, and opened up an entirely new carte blanche, rushing me with a mixture of elation, sadness, nostalgia, anxiety, and hope.

Along those lines, I hope to visit Astroworld next weekend, another chapter of my life erased forever. It's where I had my first boy girl dance with a guy who turned out to be Edgy and was the only place where I felt freedom from my parents as a teenager. I still remember walking into those gates and pulling the rubberband out of my hair (my mom never liked my hair down). Feeling my curls cascade all over my shoulders was such a rush for me. It seems silly now, but it meant something then.

I hope to go there next weekend and pull the band from my hair one last time, as I watch the sunset kiss Astroworld goodbye forever.

Enough sap. Off to look for a new job.

OMG

I'm still in shock. I don't believe it's real. It's like a dream.

ASTROS RULE!

And they get to play Chicago!

YEA!!!

Drop the Labels

Interesting discipline code instituted by the NYC public education system. I wonder if they are planning to adjust the curriculum to exclude gender/gender expression biased information. It doesn't do any good to enforce a discipline code when your textbooks reinforce "the boy code" and other problematic ways of thinking. I'm not sure how NY lit books are, but I don't teach half the short stories in our book because of sexist language and the like.

I tried to do the Drop the Labels campaign at our school, but the hurricane thwarted any plans to move on it. I'm sure it would go over like a rock to the bottom of the ocean, but it's worth a try.

On that note, I am enjoying a teach free evening this evening and plan to avoid grading/prepping as much as possible. After decompressing from a horribly stressful day at the school, I plan to work out, revamp my resume, and begin the arduous search for another job. Not sure if I'll keep a technogeek log like Glinda's. I'm not that "together."

Regardless, I need to get out of Pewston and out of public education before my soul collapses.

Halloween Highlights

Top quotes of the evening in random but somewhat chronological order (Names are deleted to protect the guilty):

1. "I'm wearing Dickies, just like the people at Starbucks!"
2. "My hair is hard."
3. "I've got the golden ticket, and I'm melting on it."
4. [With fluttering eyes, after hearing his hair was beautiful] "Oh thank you!" [then with a gruff voice] "It took me two hours to do this makeup and these bobby pins are killing me. I swear this will never be permanent. I don't know how you girls do this."
5. "My name's on a tombstone. I'm going to eat it."
6. "Oh, I thought that was his...um...little superman hanging out."
7. "Dude, that guy was infinitely worse than that "Touch My Monkey" guy at your first stock my bar party, and that's saying a lot."
8. [following the last comment] "That touch my monkey guy is my husband--soon to be ex."
9. "Oh man, this is the made for tv version. It won't show the warthog giving head."
10. [discussing my Willy Wonka costume] "She's sooo cute. You just want to take her home and...I dunno. What do you do with Lucy from the Peanuts when you take her home?"
11. "I'm a freak. I'm a mutant freak. SBC told me so."
12. "I need to ask you a very personal question: Your voter registration card is on the back of the toilet, and I put it in the basket on the back of the toilet. Are you ok with that because I know that voter registrations are supposed to be secret and all and I don't want you to be mad that I touched it, but I thought you'd want it in the basket. My belly button ring is flashing. I normally have a belly button ring but it doesn't flash so this one is better. Look, I can shake my hips. I'm taking belly dancing lessons. [She stands still] See, are they shaking?"
13. [touching my wig] "You have short hair. You don't normally have short hair. You're a short haired girl. It's like Single White Female. I like it."
14. [said by same person as last comment] "What's Kevin Smith's wife supposed to be? I've been sitting here all night trying to figure it out, and I just don't know. Maybe she's just a hair girl."
15. "You throw the best parties because you have little things and because you are shottastic. I think I'm going to come to all of your parties. I like your house."
16. " I can't find my keys. They have a mace on them. Have you seen them? I can't drive without my keys with a mace on them. How will I get home?" [we hid the keys. Someone sober drove her home.]
17. "Will you please have the smokers go down the street, around the bend, through the thick forest, and into a sealed room?" (Ok, I embellished that one).
18. "I'm not sleeping. I'm just resting with my eyes closed, no open, no...closed...I dunno."
19. [said much like "I like grapes"] "I like cheese." [He was eating hummus].
20. "There was this little person and she was laughing and running around and laughing like HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA laughing and running around like this [she runs like a kid pretending to be an airplane] and laughing like HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and she got into her car and was still laughing like HAAAAAAAAAAAA and she looked at me and laughed like HAAAAAAAAAAAAA and I thought, 'Man, this might be fun' because I think she's moving into the neighborhood."

Halloween Soiree

The party went well. 28 people showed up, so that was a decent number. It was much more mellow than the last party, and I got to actually participate, so I was pleased. The last person, other than those who camped out, left at 4:30.

I wasn't feeling well for the first part of the night. My huevos con papas didn't settle well with me. By the time most of the people showed up, though, I was feeling better though a little worn from having emptied the contents of my stomach several times. I couldn't eat anything last night, so I'm hoping the food was good. Meatballs disappeared, as did the cheese dip and other items. I didn't have much to clean up this morning.

Sadly, though, half of the pictures I took last night were deleted. If anyone has any, please send them to me.

It feels a little weird to have finished Halloween already. I usually have the party on the weekend of Halloween, so I feel like next week should be my birthday.

Today was spent cleaning up and shopping at Borders for Christmas presents. It was educator weekend--one of the only perks of being a teacher. Oh, and they are having a Narnia night on Nov 5. I'll be in SA, but the guest speaker is from HBU, so I don't think I'll miss much. Educator night at the Rockets is that night, too. Ah well, the quest for the holy Man Hands is more important.

Astros win! Yippee!

Go figure

I take the Greek god test, and I scored Dionysus. Damnit. I'm not that wild.
Shut up, Glinda and Two Shirts. I also scored Vanilla Girl on the kinky test, so let's see where you are G and TS, hmmm?

Strangely enough, though, I took the Horrifying Stereotype test and got Christian bitch.

God, what an addiction.

Speaking of tests, I took a real test today at work. My students are writing papers on careers, and one of the career teachers gave me a free pass to a career inventory test. My top 10 jobs were all in television and film. I really hope my job at WTTW comes through. Come on grant money!

heh heh...still laughing at the cheerleader picture I sent Glinda. So many things wrong with that pic. heh heh.

PISD would never do anything to jeopardize their good name...

or would they? Sad story about a little 9 year old girl who was struck by a bus on her first day walking by herself to school. Broke my heart, especially since a friend of mine was her teacher.
Read on, though, to see the second charge brought against my friend, the HRguy.

To avoid slander, he has since been found "not guilty," but his court date was on the day that I went in to have my big meeting. Unaware of any of this, I remarked offhand that I knew that they just wanted to get their records straight to avoid any illegal paperwork. Heh. Little did I know.

Hairy Potter: The Hair Magician

I got my haircut today with Pulchera's hairboytoy. I felt like a work of art. I've never seen anyone so entranced with and fulfilled by what they do. Plus my hair smells phenomenal. I keep sniffing it. I'm a freak.

All in all, it was a good haircut experience, though they don't have my shampoo I found in Paris. They carry the Kerastase line, but they don't have the particular bottle I need. It seems to be only found in Paris. I guess I'll just have to return to Gay Paris and pick up some.

HCC went amazingly well tonight since I forgot my bookbag and had no notes nor a book from which to teach. I had to discuss Byron from memory--Manfred, Don Juan. It wasn't bad, really.

Ok, off to toussle my already beautifully toussled hair by working out to Karen Kickmyass Voight's cardioyogasculpting. It's like S&M without the fun. Then again, that involves putting clothes back on and putting away my pizza pringles (nice image, huh?), so maybe not. Ah, naked blogging and pringle munching...

Oh...and the latest with PISD: UH won't accept the class I took as part of the curriculum, so tomorrow morning, HRguy has to "decide if he'll let it slide." F*ing PISD. If I wasn't eating Pringles naked I'd tell PISD to kiss my ass.

ONE MORE THING: Glinda, you went to see Corpse Bride without me? :op

My dream job

So I'm bummed about Pisd, and I took a career test online. It tells me that I should be a race car driver.

You like the thought crossing the finish line alone, in front of the rest of the pack, but you also like the thought of other people watching. Sure, there's a pit crew, and sponsors, and a whole support team under you, but you're the one who gets all the glory.
It's lonely at the top, and it takes a lot of work to get there. You don't want a job with normal working hours... no, you'd devote your life to this if it pays off in the end.
Good luck with your future endeavors. Once you go forward, I suspect you're not the type to look back.

That's f*ing practical.

PISD has been to the gym

...and is still flexing its muscles.

The upshot is that I have to get my fingerprints done for $500 to renew my permit. Secondly, I have to convince UH to grant me an "exception" and count that class for one of my deficiency plan classes. If UH refuses, HRguy says, "We'll just have to see if I decide to let it slide." If they agree to grant the exception, I will need to be accepted to Region 4's alternative program, which is basically "certification on speed." I have no other choices in certification, so this is my last chance. The cost is $10k, garnished from my wages--5k for the classes and 5k to pay for the mentor who stands over me everyday in class next year. This doesn't count the cost of the test I have to take. I've already applied, so we'll see. When I asked HRguy what happens if I don't get into the program, worst case scenario, he said, "Well, I would just have to review your case and make a decision at that time as to what to do and whether I'm going to let you slide." That's his answer for everything. So basically, it boils down to HR guy has my ovaries in his hands, and he wants me to know it. They were sweet as sucralose in the meeting because my boss was present. It was disgusting. I can't even think about how I have to spend $10,500 on something I don't even want to do, but I'm stuck now.

On the plus side, the Who will direct your life story test says that Woody Allen will direct mine, so I guess that counts for something.

Can't catch a Cranky break

I am brooding over the stupid meeting tomorrow to determine my fate, so I decided to play on OkCupid.com (damn you, Glinda). I take the Why does everyone hate you test thinking that I will find something else to brood about, and I get this damn result:


The perfect human.
16 Cruelty, 38 Anal, 26 Pushover
Congratulations. You're easy-going, friendly and know when to stand up for yourself. You're perfect. In fact, you're a little bit too perfect. Chances are, hoards of jealous people are plotting your demise at you read this. Tough luck, pal.

On the plus side, the

Hmm, and I thought I was all F*d up...

I went on OK Cupid and took the Elements Test to see how balanced of a person I am. Unbelievably, I'm in perfect harmony. HA! It seems like crankiness is next to godliness, right?

Harmony~ 85% Water ~ 74% Wind ~ 70% Earth ~ 66% Fire ~

It seems your personality is in perfect harmony; your impulses are tempered with thoughtfulness, and your emotions are balanced with a healthy amount of reason.
In order to maintain that harmony, try wearing a Jade, a Chrysoprase or an Agate; all three enhance balance and stability, as does the Snowflake Obsidian that will help remain balanced during times of change.
In detail: You are more balanced than most people. Your Ground Chakra, (associated with the element of fire and representing our basic desires and driving force), your Creative Chakra, (associated with the element of earth and representing our need to preserve and grow), your Heart Chakra, (associated with the element of water and representing our sense of love and compassion), and your Throat Chakra, (associated with the element of wind and represents our desire to learn and communicate), appear to be on an equal footing with each others.

I'm not alone

I just talked with a fellow colleague. She, apparently, went through almost an identical process this summer. She interviewed with the principal, was "hired" and then went to the admin bldg to put in an application. She was a long term sub at Dobie, so the interview process was just a formality. Turns out that the Hr director told her, on her first day, that she was fired because she filled out an application after she interviewed. She was supposed to have done the reverse. The principal goes down to the admin bldg and straightens it all out, so she kept her job.

Two months later, they send her an email that she needs to come to a meeting. In the meeting she is told that she is fired for not going to SBEC and getting fingerprints done. Apparently, the fingerprinting process goes like this: you pay $300 for a fingerprinting packet to be sent to you. The packet outlines the reasons for fingerprinting and gives you a piece of paper to take to Austin. You drive to Austin during business hours on a weekday, turn in the piece of paper, and pay an additional $100 to get the fingerprints actually done. Apparently, the police smudged her fingerprints during the process, and because they had to redo them, she had to pay another $100. Unbelievable.

The entire process of becoming a teacher allows me to realize why Texas ranks so low in almost every aspect of education (except population). What rational human being would want to go through this ridiculous process? I think I may turn in my resignation letter on Monday and leave mid semester, despite the burned bridge.

Don't Cry for me, Pasadena

I have much emotion concerning this story, so I'm not sure how well I am going to relay this. I feel beaten physically and emotionally from this job, and I know that, Scorpio that I am, I tend to play up the drama in a story, but I embroider nothing here.

The upshot is that apparently I took the wrong class this summer for my permit. I took a doctoral level class instead of an undergrad level. Truth is, after I quit PISD last year, I threw away my deficiency plan (see, I was trying to toss out things I didn't need and to quit being such a pack rat. See where it got me!). Therefore, when I reupped my contract with PISD, I had to quickly register for some classes. Due to late registration, there were "slim pickins," so I picked the two that I remembered by name as being on the plan. I didn't think about the numbers.

That said, my principal, a man of much integrity, sees me in the hall and says, "Hey Kim, some guy from HR wants to talk to you about your certification stuff." I must've shown my emotion on my face because he added, "I know. You gave them everything. This is just what they do to get back at me." Apparently, they hate him because he bends the rules, so I'm caught in the middle of a war (See previous post--Pissed at Pisd).

After much research and discovery of nepotism, I find the correct person in HR and send him an email. He writes back that he wants to have a meeting with me on Monday (this was last Friday). I've, thus, spent the week trying to figure out what the meeting was about. HRguy wont tell me, so after much pleading and badgering by my principal, HRguy sends his secretary, The VapidWonder, to write me an email. I've had a run in already with VW, and she fears me, so you can imagine how this is going.

She sends me an email telling me about the class, stating that i needed to have gotten permission to take a higher level class. She also stated that my emergency permit has not been issued because I never got my fingerprinting done with SBEC. She then states that I must be enrolled at UH this semester, retaking the class that I screwed up. She ends with this insightful sentence: "The problem, your original permit has not been issued therefore, we should not have renewed your permit until you had the above issues taken care of."

I write her back several emails saying that I spoke with the people at UH and that in reality, I have until 2007 to finish my certification, whereas PISD is only giving me until the end of the year (something they say is per the state of TX). UH says that PISD is wrong about the TX thing but that they have the right to go against the state and provide their own timeline (what's the point of the state?). I end that letter with a question about what my next step should be.

She writes back the same email as before. I write back saying that I know that I screwed up and took the wrong course, but that's water under the bridge, so what's my next step. She writes back with the same email, copying everyone in the damn district. This inane process continues for several emails. Finally, I write a one page email (linked later) about how I apologize for being new to public education and not knowing the ropes. I feel like i'm blindly going through this process, and my suggestion is that they give all new employees a checklist of some sort so that we know what needs to be done. Then I mention that I have no clue as to what the SBEC is (turns out its the State Board of Education) and that I didn't know I needed to get any fingerprinting done with them. I've had it done with PISD and Houston.

I said that I wasn't enrolled at UH presently because I didn't know I took the wrong class; therefore, it was virtually impossible to anticipate that I would need to retake the lower level class. Now, the semester is at midterm. There's no point. Plus, I have an application in progress at Region IV where I can get alternatively certified in a semster.

I end the email as before with the question, "So where are we then? I'm at a loss as to what to do with this, and I'd like to know what this means in terms of my position." I also state that I am in awe of the red tape that is involved in teaching at a Texas public school and that I find it sad that such bureaucracy is keeping me from doing that I believe is my most important function, providing a creative, technologically savvy, sound educational experience for my students. Taking me out of classes and prep time for circular conversations seems fruitless. My final sentence is that "I am gradually losing faith in the educational system of Texas" and that " a large part of me wants to withdraw my application from Region IV." More to come.

Another reason to watch King of the Hill...

is because you can learn something new. Today I learned that Michael Keaton got his start in showbiz as a stagehand on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Who knew?